Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, February 11, 2016.     

More Ponderings…

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
When you’re swimming in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that’s a moray!
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.
Everybody lies, but it doesn’t matter since nobody listens.
I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?
When you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder Why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?
Why Isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“Last Sunday night was Super Bowl 50. It’s a special night where Americans gather with friends and family to lose money and gain weight.” -Jimmy Fallon

“During the Super Bowl, Quicken Loans debuted a new app that lets people get a mortgage instantly on their phones by just tapping the screen. The app is called, ‘What could possibly go wrong?'” -Conan O’Brien

“Last Monday night was caucus night in Iowa and Ted Cruz was the winner on the Republican side with 28 percent of the vote. Donald Trump came in second with 24 percent, and Marco Rubio is right behind him with 23 percent. Third is pretty good considering the fact that most Iowa voters think that Marco Rubio is a game you play in the swimming pool.” -Jimmy Kimmel  

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A Baptist pastor was presenting a children’s sermon.

During the sermon, he asked the children if they knew what the resurrection was.

Asking questions during children’s sermons is crucial. Asking children questions in front of a congregation can also be very dangerous.

After the pastor asked the children if they knew the meaning of the resurrection, a little boy raised his hand. The pastor called on him And the little boy said, “I’m not sure, but I know that if you have a resurrection that lasts more than four hours you are supposed to call the doctor.”Emoji 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Ira, you ARE the man.”  

Answer: Suicide Kings! Said by Charlie to Ira, as he is leaving the house. Great movie, by the way, one of Christopher Walken’s best! 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “That’s okay. God loves you anyways.”

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Unscramble the words below, then take the letters from each word as instructed to form another word that is the answer to this teaser:

YLAP Take letters 1 & 2

DRAAW Take letters 1 & 4

ELT Take letter 2

Unscramble the letters you collected… What do you get?   

ANSWER: YLAP Take letters 1 & 2 – PLAY, take P,L

DRAAW Take letters 1 & 4 – AWARD, take A,R

ELT Take letters 2 – LET, take E

Unscramble the above to get ‘Pearl’  Pearls are an organic gem, created by Nature. A pearl is created when oysters cover any object with beautiful layers of nacre. Long ago, pearls were considered to be very sound and important financial assets, equivalent to owning a house of your own, as thousands of oysters had to be searched for only one pearl. They were rare because they were created only by chance. Today, pearls are cultured by man. Oysters are stimulated to cover beads with nacre and create the pearls. Pearls are available in white and beautiful hues of off white and pink. They are also available in black.   

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

7 dogs were boarding at the local Pet Lodge. Each dog was in a separate run, all in a single row. One of the employees left the cages unlocked and the dogs have all gotten out of their runs. She needs to put each of them back in the right cage, but this is all she remembers. Help her get them in the right cages, and QUICK!

Dogs: Beau, Duke, Fluffy, Lady, Princess, Rover, and Spike

1. Spike doesn’t like other dogs much, so he was on one of the ends.

2. Princess was somewhere to the left of Beau.

3. Rover was in the third run from the right.

4. The only dog between Fluffy and Lady was Princess.

5. Duke was directly to the left of Lady.

 

 

    

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

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