WELCOME to Wednesday, February 10, 2016.
The English Language…….
Let’s face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn’t the preacher praught.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn’t a race at all)
That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
But when I wind up this observation,
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today. H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart. – Helen Keller
Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.
Francis of Assisi
I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.”
“We’re short-handed, Smith” the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.”
“Thanks, boss,” says Smith “I knew I could count on you!”
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Oh, it’s been known to last all night.”
Answer: Coyote Ugly! Said by Jersey, to Kevin, while she’s seducing him by explaining what it’s like when she gets stage fright.
Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Ira, you ARE the man.”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
An antigram is an anagram where the answer is the opposite of the starting meaning.
Can you solve these antigrams?
Tear no veils
Care is noted
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Unscramble the words below, then take the letters from each word as instructed to form another word that is the answer to this teaser:
YLAP Take letters 1 & 2
DRAAW Take letters 1 & 4
ELT Take letter 2
Unscramble the letters you collected… What do you get?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/