Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday, February 10, 2016.     

The English Language……. 

Let’s face it

English is a stupid language.

There is no egg in the eggplant

No ham in the hamburger

And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England

French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted

But if we examine its paradoxes we find that

Quicksand takes you down slowly

Boxing rings are square

And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 

If writers write, how come fingers don’t fing.

If the plural of tooth is teeth

Shouldn’t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth

If the teacher taught,

Why didn’t the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables

What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?

Why do people recite at a play

Yet play at a recital?

Park on driveways and

Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy

Of a language where a house can burn up as

It burns down

And in which you fill in a form 

By filling it out

And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers

And it reflects the creativity of the human race

(Which of course isn’t a race at all)

That is why

When the stars are out they are visible

But when the lights are out they are invisible

And why it is that when I wind up my watch

It starts

But when I wind up this observation,

It ends. 

 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

The best preparation for tomorrow is doing your best today. H. Jackson Brown, Jr. 

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – they must be felt with the heart. – Helen Keller

 

Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.

Francis of Assisi

 

I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.

Jimmy Dean 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.” 

“We’re short-handed, Smith” the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.” 

“Thanks, boss,” says Smith “I knew I could count on you!” 

 

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “Oh, it’s been known to last all night.” 

Answer: Coyote Ugly! Said by Jersey, to Kevin, while she’s seducing him by explaining what it’s like when she gets stage fright.

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Ira, you ARE the man.”

 

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

 An antigram is an anagram where the answer is the opposite of the starting meaning.

Can you solve these antigrams?

Tear no veils 

Archsaints

Are advisers

More tiny

Care is noted

 

ANSWER: Revelations

Anarchists

Adversaries

Enormity

Desecration   

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Unscramble the words below, then take the letters from each word as instructed to form another word that is the answer to this teaser:

YLAP Take letters 1 & 2

DRAAW Take letters 1 & 4

ELT Take letter 2

Unscramble the letters you collected… What do you get?

 

 

    

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

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