Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, February 9, 2016.     

Business one-liners………… 

If you cannot fix it, feature it.

If you cannot get your work done in a 24-hour day, then work nights!

If you cannot measure output, then you measure input.

If you cannot hope for order, withdraw with style from the chaos.

If you consult enough experts, you can confirm any opinion.

If you did what you always did, you’ll get what you always got.

If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.

If you do something right once, someone will ask you to do it again.

If you do not care where you are, then you aren’t lost.

If you do not change direction, you are likely to end up where you are headed. 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“Facebook turned 12 years old today, and it’s hard to believe it has only been 12 years since I learned to hate every single person I know.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“After facing backlash from customers, Subway says it will remove a chemical in its bread that is also found in yoga mats. Some people were like, ‘You mean I’ve been eating a dangerous chemical?’ While most people were like, ‘You mean I can eat my yoga mat?'” -Jimmy Fallon

“According to a new study, women are more attracted to men who talk less. Which is why you often overhear women say, ‘Check out that mime.'” -Conan O’Brien  

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Jim’s doctor tells him he has only one day to live. When Jim goes home to share the bad news with his wife, she asks what he wants to do with the little bit of time he has left. 

“All I want,” Jim tells his beloved wife, “is to spend my last few hours reliving our honeymoon.” Which is exactly what they did.

But after hours of blissful romance, she announces that she’s tired and wants to go to sleep.

“Oh, come on,” Jim whispers in her ear, “one more time.”

“Look,” his wife snaps, “I’ve got to get up in the morning. You don’t!” Emoji 

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “You’d do it with Tina Turner and she’s a granny.”” 

Answer: The Commitments! Great b-movie about an Irish soul band. Andrew Strong, who plays the lead singer, was only in his mid teens at the time this movie was made. He took all his inspiration from Joe Cocker.  

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Oh, it’s been known to last all night.”  

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

If you like pretty gems that sparkle and shine,

I invite you to dig in my virtual mine.

My first is purple, fit for a king,

My second is green where Dorothy did her thing.

My third is red, July’s birthstone as well,

My fourth is seen in strings and is found inside a shell.

My fifth is hard, pure Carbon and expensive to buy,

My sixth is Crocidolite, striped like the big cat’s eye.

Seventh is two words, a man-made fake of April’s stone,

Eighth is very dark and found at Lightning Ridge alone.

Now take from each gem, one letter in its turn,

And you will find the stuff for which even the gods yearn.  

ANSWER: The gems are

Amethyst

Emerald (Emerald city – Wizard of OZ)

Ruby

Pearl (From inside oyster shell)

Diamond

Tiger’s eye

Cubic Zirconia (Fake diamond)

Black Opal

Taking the first letter of Amethyst, second of Emerald etcetera gives

Ambrosia – The food of the gods.   

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

An antigram is an anagram where the answer is the opposite of the starting meaning.

Can you solve these antigrams?

Tear no veils 

Archsaints

Are advisers

More tiny

Care is noted

 

 

    

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

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