WELCOME to Monday, February 8, 2016.
When you’re going up the stairs and you take a step, kick the other leg up high behind you to keep people from following too close.
Too bad Lassie didn’t know how to ice skate, because then if she was in Holland on vacation in winter and someone said “Lassie, go skate for help,” she could do it.
If you’re ever shipwrecked on a tropical island and you don’t know how to speak the natives’ language, just say “Poppy-oomy.” I bet it means something.
I wonder if angels believe in ghosts.
I wish scientists would come up with an ear of corn that was big and round, because then when you were eating it, it’d be fun to make chew marks in the shape of continents.
I have to laugh when I think of the first cigar, because it was probably just a bunch of rolled-up tobacco leaves.
Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you’ll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that’s my point.
I don’t understand people who say life is a mystery, because what is it they want to know?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow this morning, which means one of two things. Either spring will come early this year or Punxsutawney Phil is a vampire.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“A new study found that a growing number of parents regret the name they gave their baby. They actually have a name for those parents: ‘celebrities.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“New Barbies will come in a variety of body sizes including ‘tall,’ ‘petite,’ and ‘curvy.’ However, due to some controversy, the company has decided not to make ‘Bootylicious Barbie.'” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
On my 40th birthday I waltzed out of my bedroom dressed in an old outfit I dug out of the back of the closet.
“I wore this on my 30th birthday! I guess that means my wardrobe is ten years old,” I said to my husband, hoping he’d take the hint and buy me some clothes as a present.
“Or,” he offered instead, “it means when you were 30 you had the body of a 40-year-old.”
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “I’m her butterfly, she’s mine.”
Answer: Young Guns! Said by Doc Scurlock, while high on Peyote.
Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “You’d do it with Tina Turner and she’s a granny.”
Unscramble the words below and follow the directions in parentheses. Unscramble the new letters to get the name of a former U.S. President.
evon (take the 1st and 2nd letters)
cromaeviw (take the 5th and 9th letters)
drigef (take the 2nd and 6th letters)
knsi (take the 1st letter)
blate (take the 1st and 4th letters)
ANSWER: The unscrambled words are:
sink or skin
o, v, o, e, r, e, s, t, l
Unscramble the letters to get: Roosevelt
Theodore Roosevelt, Jr. (October 27, 1858 – January 6, 1919), also known as T.R. and to the public as Teddy, was the 26th President of the United States (1901-1909). He was the 25th Vice President before becoming President upon the assassination of President William McKinley. At age 42, he was the youngest President to date. Within the Republican Party he was a Progressive reformer who sought to bring his party’s conservative ideals into the 20th century. He broke with his friend and appointed successor William Howard Taft and ran as a third-party candidate in 1912 on the Progressive Party ticket.
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
If you like pretty gems that sparkle and shine,
I invite you to dig in my virtual mine.
My first is purple, fit for a king,
My second is green where Dorothy did her thing.
My third is red, July’s birthstone as well,
My fourth is seen in strings and is found inside a shell.
My fifth is hard, pure Carbon and expensive to buy,
My sixth is Crocidolite, striped like the big cat’s eye.
Seventh is two words, a man-made fake of April’s stone,
Eighth is very dark and found at Lightning Ridge alone.
Now take from each gem, one letter in its turn,
And you will find the stuff for which even the gods yearn.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/