Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, February 5, 2016.    

Friday’s Ponderings……………  

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 

When someone asks you, “A penny for your thoughts,” and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? 

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It’s just stale bread to begin with. 

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? 

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist? 

Why are wise man and a wise guy opposites? 

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? 

If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible? 

Why isn’t 11 pronounced onety one?

“I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence? 

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, and drycleaners depressed? 

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”? 

Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure? 

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? 

If people from Poland are called “Poles,” why aren’t people from Holland called “Holes?” 

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. 

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? 

Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn’t live there. 

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Friday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr………….

“Don’t allow anybody to make you feel that you’re nobody.”

“If a man hasn’t discovered something he will die for, he isn’t fit to live.”

“One day we will learn that the heart can never be totally right if the head is totally wrong. Only through the bringing together of head and heart—intelligence and goodness—shall man rise to a fulfillment of his true nature.”

“Nothing worthwhile is gained without sacrifice.”

“God is not interested merely in the freedom of black men, and brown men, and yellow men; God is interested in the freedom of the whole human race.”

“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

“I’ve looked over, and I’ve seen the promised land. I may not get there with you, but I want you to know tonight that we as a people will get to the promised land. So I’m happy tonight. I’m not worried about anything. I’m not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord. ” 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

As US tourists in Israel, a man and his wife were sitting outside a Bethlehem souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists. An Arab salesman approached them carrying belts. After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were from. ‘America,’ the husband replied. 

Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the Arab responded, ‘She’s not from the States.’ 

‘Yes, I am.’ said the wife. 

He looked at her and asked, ‘Is he your husband?’ 

‘Yes,’ she replied. 

Turning to the husband, he offered…. ‘I’ll give you 100 camels for her.’ The husband looked stunned, and there was a long silence. Finally he replied,’ She’s not for sale.’

After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked her husband what took him so long to answer, to which the husband replied, ‘I was trying to figure out how I’d get 100 camels back home.’ 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Small ugly thing biting me.”

Answer:  Fools Rush In! Said by Alex, when he comes home to see that his house has been redecorated by Isabelle’s family. 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  “I’m her butterfly, she’s mine.”

 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

What phrase is represented below?

JG

UN

MI

PP

IM

NU

GJ

Good

New

New  

ANSWER:  Jumping up and down over good news. 

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Unscramble the words below and follow the directions in parentheses. Unscramble the new letters to get the name of a former U.S. President.

evon (take the 1st and 2nd letters)

cromaeviw (take the 5th and 9th letters)

drigef (take the 2nd and 6th letters)

knsi (take the 1st letter)

blate (take the 1st and 4th letters)

 
 
    

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

 
 

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