Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

12039665_840057049425615_7807558247268304264_nWELCOME to Monday, January 11, 2016.     

Funny Rules of Life……

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.
After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn’t .
If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, ‘How would the Lone Ranger handle this?’

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well. Samuel Butler

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable. Mark Twain

Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy. Ambrose Bierce

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a darn fool about it. W.C. Fields

The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side. James Baldwin 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Sally Winters wanted to earn some money so she applied for a post in a Florida lemon grove which seemed eminently suitable but Sally was concerned that she might be over qualified for the job.

‘Look Miss Winters,’ said Archie, the foreman, seriously ‘have you any actual experience in picking lemons?’ ‘Well, as a matter of fact, yes,’ came Sally’s reply and she added confidently, ‘I’ve been divorced three times.’ Emoji

 

 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Welcome to the maxi pad.’  

Answer:  ‘Reality Bites’ All of Troy’s lines are so deep, yet not. Of course he didn’t say that line. I just could pick a favorite line of his from the movie. 

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.’

 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….

What do the following words have in common?

Assess

Banana

Dresser

Grammar

Potato

Revive

Uneven

Voodoo     

ANSWER:  If you take the first letter and move it to the rear of the word, you get the same word when read backwards.

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

What expression is represented here?

Run, Hit, Jump = Volume Level 9

Dictionary = Volume Level 2

 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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