Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

12122438_840057066092280_5061146425328312994_nWELCOME to Thursday, January 7, 2016.     

Thursday’s Punography… 

No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
Fishermen are reel men.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
What tea do hockey players drink? Penaltea!
Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day? Sure, they’re very scent-imental!
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
What do ghosts serve for dessert? I Scream.
Why are there 5 syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?
What did the tree say to autumn? Leaf me alone.
STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.
What does a hockey player and a magician have in common? Both do hat tricks!
What do bees do with their honey? They cell it.
I am the ghost of Christmas Future Perfect Subjunctive: I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways!

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“A study found that moderate consumption of red wine leads to higher test scores. So apparently, I spent New Year’s Eve cramming for a final.” -Conan O’Brien

“After being arrested for crashing his car into a shopping mall, a Florida man explained to police that he was trying to time-travel. Which is crazy. If you want to travel 50 years into the future, just leave Florida.” -Seth Meyers

“A new poll found that women in America are angrier about current events than men. And if you want to make them even angrier, just tell them they seem angry.” -Jimmy Fallon

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A seven-year-old boy is sitting at the dinner table with his parents. Suddenly he announces, “Me and Janie next door are gonna get married!” 

“Oh?” says the mother, amused. “And how old is Janie?” 

“Six,” replies the boy. 

“Well,” says the father, “what are you going to do for money?” 

“I get 5 dollars a week allowance,” says the son, “and Janie gets 2. We figured that if we put them together, we’ll be okay.” 

“I see,” says the father. “But what are you going to do if you have any children?” 

“Well,” says the boy, “so far we’ve been lucky.”  

 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Well, I don’t need a magic 8 ball to look into your future.’ 

Answer:  ‘Chasing Amy’ Very good movie, but few have even heard of it. 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Who died and made you Ed McMahon?’

 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

 If E times ILE equals BANISH, and TE times T equals BOOK, what does TO times IN equal?

A. BREATH

B. TEASER

C. RUTABAGA

D. POISON

E. COPPER  

ANSWER: POISON. Replace every instance of the word “times” with an ‘X’. 

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

In each sentence the name of a tree is hidden. The willow is hiding in the first sentence. Can you find the others? 

1. I will owe you a favor if you drive me to the airport.

2. I am afraid of going up in elevators.

3. Drinking cocoa keeps me warm on long winter nights.

4. I hope the map leads us to buried treasure.

5. “Eat another bonbon,” said our charming hostess.

6. Nepal may be the most interesting place I have ever visited.

7. Remember to fold the map, please.

8. I feel many lumps in this mattress.

9. Word processing is not as useful as pens and paper for creative brainstorming.

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s