Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

12143230_840057149425605_7348767336420861235_nWELCOME to Monday, January 4, 2016.     

Well here we go walking into 2016, a whole new year with new adventures for everybody. One thing I’ve noticed is the increase in online dating sites. There’s Match.com, Zoosk, Elite Singles, Christian Mingle.com and for the over 50 crowd, OurTime.com.  One my friends (Caucasian), used to troll BlackPeopleMeet.com, cause she liked dating black guys till the one time her date turned out to be another Caucasian who was also trolling BlackPeopleMeet because he liked dating black women. Can you imagine their surprise when they got together for a date? Hilarious!  

Now don’t forget the other sites, eHarmony, Best St. Louis Dating, OkCupid, Chemistry.com, JDate, a site for Jewish singles, SingleParentMeet, where single parents you know meet. I imagine in the future there will be a meeting place for those with walkers with tennis balls on them as well as that final resting site “we don’t that much time left.com. 

The web sites ask you questions like “What online dating experience are you looking for? Use a good photo, create a detailed profile, patience is key, be safe and saving the best for last…have fun. Each site offers places to go online to find meaningful connections, through your profile with Raul’s Cuban picture on it, on the internet where you can be yourself……right.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“Scientists in Australia have created a pineapple that tastes like a coconut. Took them long enough.” -Jimmy Fallon

“According to a new survey that just came out, the issue most on the minds of college students is whether they’ll be able to find a job when they graduate. Experts say it’s silly for college students to worry about whether or not they’ll be able to find a job because the answer is no.” -Conan O’Brien

“The FDA is warning New Yorkers about Chinese food after a major Brooklyn distributor was found with rats and birds nesting in boxes of ingredients. The distributor says it’s all a misunderstanding – those ARE the ingredients.” -Seth Meyers 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Doug went to the eye doctor for an examination because he was having trouble reading the newspaper. “Now that you’re over 40,” the doctor told him, “you’ve developed a condition called ‘presbyopia,’ in which the lens of your eye can no longer focus as well as it used to.”

Seeing his worried look, the doctor tried to be upbeat. “Congratulations!” he said. “You’re now officially a presbyope!”

Doug leaned over and asked seriously, “If that means I’m no longer a Roman Catholic, do I still have to go to Confession?”

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? Dancing is just a conversation between two people. Talk to me.’

Answer:  Hope Floats! Why is it that Harry Connick Jr. can look good even as a country bumpkin?

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘I don’t love her, she kicked me in the face. I hate her…don’t I?’

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

 1-2-3-4-5-6

I am a 6 letter word.

Letters 6-5-2 spell out a drink.

Letters 4-5-2-3 spell out a fruit.

Letters 1-2-6 spell out a pet.

Letters 3-2-6 spell out a pest, which often gets eaten by 1-2-6.

What am I? 

ANSWER: CARPET.

6-5-2: tea

4-5-2-3: pear

1-2-6: cat

3-2-6: rat 

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

Each of the clues make up a type of flower, for example “small container + to allow” would be “vial + let”, or “violet.”

Can you figure out these five?

1. an implement + flesh around mouth

2. foppish + a large carnivorous wildcat

3. to wed + a soft yellow element

4. a false statement + be deficient in

5. indicates an alternative + child 

  

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

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