Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

AAepdjEWELCOME to Monday, December 28, 2015.     

Here’s the story……. 

It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. The pastor of the church was looking over the cradle when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures. Immediately he turned and went outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant, Jesus. 

So he walked up to the boy and said, “Well, where did you get Him, my little friend?” 

The little boy replied, “I got him from the church.” 

“And why did you take him?” 

The boy said, “Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to the little Lord Jesus and I told him if he would bring me a red wagon for Christmas I would give him a ride around the block in it.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!     

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“Scientists are saying that an asteroid over a mile wide is going to pass by Earth on Christmas Eve, but they say it PROBABLY won’t hit the Earth. Then the scientists were like, ‘Anyway, happy holidays, everyone!'” -Jimmy Fallon

“Christmas is that magical time of the year when we’re forced to spend money we don’t want to spend to travel to places we don’t want to go to see the people we really don’t want to see.” -Jimmy Kimmel 

 “A new poll revealed that 44 percent of Americans think Santa is a Democrat and 28 percent believe he is a Republican. And the other 28 percent said to please stop bothering me with stupid questions.” -Jimmy Kimmel

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

I wondered if I could get my husband to address Christmas cards, as I had so much to do. I arranged everything we needed, then hopefully pulled up a chair and said, “Come on, Dear, let’s get these out of the way.” 

He glanced at the array on the table, turned away and went into the den, only to return moments later with a high stack of cards, stamped, sealed, and addressed. 

“They’re last year’s,” he said. “I forgot to mail them. Now let’s go out to dinner and relax.”  

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Run, florest, run!’  

Answer: Mafia! A movie making fun of the ‘Godfather’ (parts I, II and III).  

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘It’s a revolution, darn it! We have to offend somebody!’

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Can you decipher this:

issues
issues
issues
issues
issues
issues
issues
issues
issues

issues   

ANSWER: Tennis shoes.  

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

Below is a (very) short story with 10 capitalized words or phrases which are anagrams of words that all fit in a certain category. Can you find the anagrams and determine the category?

NOTE: One of the answers contains two words.

A recently PAROLED man named Ari was going to ROB A PEARL boat of all of its FIG FARE. The boat was just off of the SHORE. He put on his BALM and donned his TOGA to SNEAK aboard. ARI GOT ALL of the NEAT HELP he needed from a safety pin that kept his toga IN PLACE. 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

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