Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, December 8, 2015.    

Answers Given in a Bible Knowledge Test………..

1. The first book of the Bible is Guinness’s.  In the book of Guinness Adam and Eve were created from an apple

(Hmm could they mean Genesis?)

2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s wife was Joan of the Ark. Noah built the ark and the animals came on in pears.

3. Moses went to the top of Mount Cyanide to get the 10 Commandments.

4. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

5. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

6. Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night.

7. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.

8. The greatest miracle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he actually obeyed him.

9. Unleavened bread is bread made with no ingredients.

10. A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.

11. Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

12. Solomon had 100 wives and 700 porcupines.

13. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

14. When Mary heard she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

15. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found Jesus sacked in the manager.

16. The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.

17. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do,  don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!   

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

Genesis 25:30 [Holman Christian Standard Bible] He said to Jacob, ‘Let me eat some of that red stuff, because I’m exhausted.’

Proverbs 21:19 [New Living Translation] It is better to live alone in the desert than with a crabby, complaining wife.

Proverbs 27:15-16 [New Living Translation] A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day.  Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or trying to hold something with greased hands. 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Our minister, the Reverend Thomas Lewis, told our congregation, ‘Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you all understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark, chapter 17.’

The following Sunday, as Thomas prepared to deliver his sermon; he asked for a show of hands, he wanted to know how many people had read Mark 17. Almost every hand went up.

Thomas smiled and said, ‘Mark only has 16 chapters. I will know proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.’ Emoji 

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Man is born crying. When he has cried enough, he dies.’  

Answer:  Ran! Based on ‘King Lear’.

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???‘Ohh, is that the one about the hooker with, um, dysentery?’

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

One day, Bob and Hannah were sitting out on their deck, sipping on some drinks. Bob ran into the house, got an empty two-liter bottle from the freezer and a quarter, and returned to the deck.

“I bet you money that this quarter will move with nobody touching it.”

Hannah thought this was a sure win, however, she lost. When Bob placed the quarter on the mouth of the bottle, the quarter began jumping on one side and making popping sounds.

How did Hannah lose?

 

ANSWER: As the bottle had previously been in the freezer, the cool air inside expanded when placed in a warmer temperature and escaped through the only out, or the mouth. However, while the quarter was blocking this passage way, the cool air could not leave. Therefore, the expanding cold air moved the quarter enough so a little cool air could come out of the bottle. The popping sounds were from the quarter landing back on the bottle. 

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

Today little Frederick and his mother visited a school and a family. While they were there, they saw a band, checked out the litter, and noticed a sleuth standing nearby. Later that day, they watched an army and a troop for quite a while, and noticed they were standing beside a battery. As they were leaving to go home that day, Frederick and his mother saw a party just near the den and were indeed very happy.

What was happening here?

 
    

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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