WELCOME to Thursday, December 3, 2015.
DRIVE BY PUNS…
Polynesia: memory loss in parrots.
Oh Lord, give me patience…and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
A good pun is its own reword.
Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
To err is human, to moo bovine.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“I don’t think people who participate in black Friday are there for the bargains. It seems like they go for a socially acceptable excuse to punch a stranger in the face.” -James Corden
“Fifteen states across the country have gas prices that have dipped below $2. That means it’s now cheaper to buy a gallon of liquefied dinosaurs than one cup of coffee at Starbucks.” -Jimmy Fallon
“According to a new report that just came out, the average college freshman reads at a seventh grade level. Or if you’re an optimist every seventh grader now reads at a college freshman level.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
My husband and I decided to take our two children, then ages seven and three, to our favorite “adult” restaurant for the first time. The younger child refused to stay in her seat and danced around our table. Her sister, tears rolling down her face, laughed loudly at the three-year-old’s antics and pounded the table.
Beet-red with embarrassment, my husband warned them through clenched teeth, “If you don’t start behaving, you’ll never eat out with us again!”
The man at the next table leaned over to his wife. “Look dear,” he said. “Quality time!”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘After fifteen minutes I wanted to marry her, and after half an hour I completely gave up the idea of stealing her purse’
Answer: Take The Money And Run! First movie directed by Woody Allen and his funniest.
Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???. ‘Will you go to lunch? Go to lunch. WILL you GO to LUNCH?!’
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Unscramble the words below, then take the letters from each word as instructed:
EQUEU Take letters 1,4 and 5
YMRRA Take letters 1,2 and 3
IELAN Take letters 1,3 and 5
CBA Take letter 2
Unscramble the letters you collected… what do you get?
ANSWER: EQUEU Take letters 1,4 and 5 – QUEUE – take Q,U,E
YMRRA Take letters 1,2 and 3 – MARRY – take M,A,R
IELAN Take letters 1,3 and 5 – ALIEN – take A,I,N
CBA Take letter 2 – CAB, take A
Unscramble the above to get ‘Aquamarine’. Aquamarine is a fascinating gemstone, available in varied shades of blue, from where it gets its name. The peaceful and serene look of an aquamarine gemstone further encourages people to treat it as lucky for women who want a happy and peaceful marriage! Many view it as an exotic and lucky gemstone because of the association with water.
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
She so peaceful, yet causes fear
Him so bright and full of cheer
She rests the body, he wakes the soul
Him so light, she black as coal
Her with mole and tiny bright freckles
He covers us with tiny tear speckles
She hides us, he beams with pride
He her husband, she his bride
He in bright silk, her all in velvet
A yin-yang marriage as they tell it
Two lovers who meet but twice a day
When he must go, she need stay
Now I ask you, who are they?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/