Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, November 19, 2015.  

Pondering again……………

What’s another word for thesaurus? 

What would we have called the color orange if it wasn’t a fruit? 

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water? 

How can there be self-help “groups”? 

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? 

If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap? 

If someone has a mid-life crises while playing hide & seek, does he automatically lose because he can’t find himself?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? 

Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure? 

Is there another word for synonym? 

Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”? 

Just “before” someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach? 

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

Laughing stock – cattle with a sense of humor.

You can’t have everything, where would you put it?

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday and whatever you do,  

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“It was reported that the Republican candidates said Hillary Clinton’s name more than 40 times during the debate. Though usually you only have to say it three times before she appears.” -Seth Meyers

“A new study found that government employees are the happiest workers. The study was not conducted at the DMV.” -Conan O’Brien

“Researchers in Japan are working on a new drug that could treat gambling addiction. But I’ll bet you 2-to-1 it doesn’t work.” -Jimmy Fallon  

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, “Hey, you gave me the wrong change!”

“Sir, you stepped away from the counter,” said the cashier. “We don’t make corrections after you leave. There’s nothing I can do about it now. That’s the policy of this bank.”

“Well, ok,” answered the customer. “Just thought you’d like to know that you gave me an extra twenty. Bye.” 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘If I win, I get to take you home. If you win, you can go home with me.’ 

Answer: Trees Lounge! 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Thou art a subject of the divine, created in the image of man, by the masses, for the masses.’

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

 What does this rebus represent?

1.Bob drowned Frosted Flakes

2.Joe buried Cap’n Crunch

3.Sarah threw Rice Krispies off a cliff

4.Emily shot Cocoa Puffs 

ANSWER: Serial Killers  (Cereal Killers) 

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Can you determine the professions/jobs described below? Each clue is an anagram of the answer.

One Word

1. Stamp on

2. For trees

3. Remit sin

4. Menial cop

5. Court poser

Two Words (first word is “a” or “the”)

6. Dints teeth

7. He tots income

8. Sit, chat, pay, sir

9. I seen at birth cot

10. Their art’s caustic

Two Words

11. Spirit shaper

12. Poles gather a report

Bonus (two jobs, middle word is “and”)

13. Mass dress alteration

 
 
 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! NICE SOLVING JOB KIM. 

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LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

  

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