Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, November 6, 2015.    

Lessens in Righting: Content-Disposition inline……….

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They’re old hat)

6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific.

8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

10. No sentence fragments.

11. Contractions aren’t necessary and shouldn’t be used.

12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.

14. One should NEVER generalize.

15. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.

16. Don’t use no double negatives.

17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

20. The passive voice is to be ignored.

21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

23. Kill all exclamation points!!!!

24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.

26. Use the apostrophe in it’s proper place and omit it when its not needed.

27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”

28. If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.

30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

32. Who needs rhetorical questions?

33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

And finally…

34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday and whatever you do,  

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” ― Dr. Seuss 

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” 

― Bernard M. Baruch

“Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .”” ― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

“Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow

Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead

Walk beside me… just be my friend” 

― Anonymous 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

In a small Southern town there was a nativity scene that indicated great skill and talent in its creation. One small feature bothered me though. The three wise men were wearing firemen’s helmets.

Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a “Quik Stop” on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, “You darn Yankees never do read the Bible!”

I assured her that I did, but simply couldn’t recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a particular passage.

Sticking it in my face she said, “See, it says right here, ‘The three wise men came from afar.'”Emoji 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Come out, come out, wherever you are.” 

Answer: Queen of the Damned! This one was too easy, but I had to. “Queen” was a great movie, over-looking the mediocre acting. Aaliyah was very evil as Akasha, Stuart Townsend very seductive as Lestat.    

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Why do you let her do this to you?”  “Because I like it!”

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

The same two letters can be prefixed to each of these words to make different words. What are these two letters?

one

edge

own

ought

awl

aught   

ANSWER:  D and R

Drone  Dredge  Drown  Drought  Drawl  Draught

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

1. I am always excited

2. I tell people where things are at

3. You can play a game on me

4. I’m very rich

5. I give percentages

6. I am always looking up

7. And………

8. I look like a light in the sky

9. I keep things arranged that are to my right

10. I keep things arranged that are to my left

What Are We?

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

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