WELCOME to Monday, November 30, 2015.
Ponderings after thanksgiving….
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it’s the scenic route.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“A new poll found that 54 percent of Americans say it’s too early to be playing Christmas music. I couldn’t agree more. Now let’s talk about the 2016 presidential race.” -Seth Meyers
“The good people at Butterball have been running a toll-free hotline for turkey-cooking tips since 1981. Every year the turkey talk line receives more than 100,000 phone calls, but sadly, they have not once been able to save a turkey’s life.” -Stephen Colbert
“For the first time in 32 years, Butterball is adding male staffers to their Thanksgiving turkey talk line, the phone number you can call if you are having trouble cooking your turkey. One of the guys just yells questions to his wife in the other room.” -Jimmy Kimmel
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
My family traditionally begins the evening meal with a prayer of thanks. When they were old enough, we began letting our children say the meal prayer. Of course at first they would ask for a pony, a new bike, etc. They soon learned the more important things which should be included in the prayer.
At Thanksgiving we had the whole family over. My nine year old wanted to say the prayer. It went like this: “Heavenly Father, we thank Thee for the turkey, the rolls, the mashed potatoes, the red jiggly stuff, and the bread stuff even though I don’t like it. We ask that You not let us choke on this food.”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘My girlfriend still doesn’t know why her sweaters are always stretched out.’
Answer: Ed Wood! A great movie, with a great cast.
Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘You know there’s nothing to steal from my mom and Craig!’
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Which is the odd one out?
ANSWER: “Keyboards”. All the other words contain names from the 12 signs of the zodiac: bound-Aries, Cancer-ous, Libra-rian, Scorpio-ns, chame-Leo-n
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Unscramble these four word jumbles and use the instructions given below them to form the name of a country which is a jumble of those letters.
1. KERWC. Take the 1st and 2nd letter.
2. LZEA. Take the 1st, 2nd and the 4th letter.
3. KURNT. Take the 1st and the 4th letter.
4. IASB. Take the 2nd and 3rd letter.
5. SUKD. Take the 1st and 3rd letter.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/