Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, October 16, 2015.     

Handy Latin Phrases…

It’s Latin. It’s ancient. It’s got lots of vowels. And it’s not as stuffy as you might think. Here are some handy Latin phrases you may want to whip out at your next cocktail party or parole hearing.

Fac ut vivas. Get a life.

Mihi ignosce. Cum homine de cane debeo congredi. Excuse me. I’ve got to see a man about a dog.

Noli me vocare, ego te vocabo. Don’t call me, I’ll call you.

Radix lecti. Couch potato.

Sona si Latine loqueris. Honk if you speak Latin.

Si hoc signum legere potes, operis boni in rebus Latinus alacribus et fructuosis potiri potes! If you can read this sign, you can get a good job in the fast-paced, high-paying world of Latin!

Gramen artificiosum odi. I hate Astroturf.

Utinam coniurati te in foro interficiant. May conspirators assassinate you in the mall.

Cogito, ergo doleo. I think, therefore I am depressed.

Abundant dulcibus vitiis. Nobody’s perfect.

Ventis secundis, tene cursum. Go with the flow.

Si fractum non sit, noli id reficere. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Ne auderis delere orbem rigidum meum. Don’t you dare erase my hard disk.

Braccae tuae aperiuntur. Your fly is open.

Non curo. Si metrum non habet, non est poema. I don’t care. If it doesn’t rhyme, it isn’t a poem.

Furnulum pani nolo. I don’t want a toaster.

Morologus es! You’re talking like a moron!

Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam. I have a catapult. Give me all the money, or I will fling an enormous rock at your head.

Sentio aliquos togatos contra me conspirare. I think some people in togas are plotting against me.

Re vera, potas bene. Say, you sure are drinking a lot.

Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione. I’m not interested in your dopey religious cult.

Tace atque abi. Shut up and go away.

Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant. May barbarians invade your personal space.

Quantum materiae materietur marmota monax si marmota monax materiam possit materiari? How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Actio personalis monitur cum persona. Dead men don’t sue.

Vescere bracis meis. Eat my shorts.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend and whatever you do, 

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!   

 

 

DAILY QUOTES….  

To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness. Robert Muller 

Before you can live a part of you has to die. You have to let go of what could have been, how you should have acted and what you wish you would have said differently. You have to accept that you can’t change the past experiences, opinions of others at that moment in time or outcomes from their choices or yours. When you finally recognize that truth, then you will understand the true meaning of forgiveness of yourself and others. From this point you will finally be free. Shannon L. Alder 

As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison. Nelson Mandela 

True forgiveness is when you can say, ‘Thank you for that experience.’

Oprah Winfrey

 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, “Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about twenty minutes ago?” 

“Yes,” the golfer responded. 

“Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?” 

“Yes, I did. How did you know?” he asked. 

“Well,” said the policeman very seriously, “Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver’s windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn’t make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?” 

The golfer thought it over carefully and responded… 

“I think I’ll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb.  

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘We called the dog Indiana!’ 

Answer:  Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade! A wee bit of banter between Sean Connery and Harrison Ford.

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Do you recycle?’

 

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Once upon a time there was a dad and 3 kids. When the kids were adults, the dad was old and Death came to take the dad. The first son, who became a lawyer, begged Death to let the dad live a few more years. Death agreed. When Death came back, the second son, who became a doctor begged Death to let his father live a few more days. Death agreed. When Death came back the third son, who became a priest begged Death to let the dad live till that candle wick burned out and he pointed to a candle. Death agreed. The third son knew Death wouldn’t come back, and he didn’t. Why not?  

ANSWER: The third son went over and blew out the candle after Death left because the son said “till the candle wick burns out”, not “till the candle burns out”. Emoji

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Every clue below can be answered with a two word phrase in which each word contains OR. Your job is to figure out what they are. Good luck. 

1. Person on an assembly line

2. Whiskey made from ears of a certain vegetable

3. Vet with an equine practice

4. 1970s-’80s tennis champ from Sweden

5. Listing in the Guinness Book

6. Home of Texas Christian University

7. Person who gives a kidney or liver

8. Piece of fiction not as long as a novel

 
                  

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

  
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