Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday, September 30, 2015.   

 More Clever Wise One-liners….

Clever wise One-liners

  • A boiled egg is hard to beat.A calendar’s days are numbered.
  • A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
  • A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
  • He had a photographic memory, which was never developed.
  • A plateau is a high form of flattery.
  • Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
  • When you’ve seen one shopping centre you’ve seen a mall.
  • If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
  • When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
  • Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead the dough basis.
  • Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
  • Acupuncture: a jab well done.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! 

 

 

QUOTES FOR THE WEEKEND….      

 “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” 

–Maya Angelou 

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” 

–Mahatma Gandhi 

“There are painters who transform the sun to a yellow spot, but there are others who with the help of their art and their intelligence, transform a yellow spot into the sun.” 

–Pablo Picasso 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive casement type with shutters.  Today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them.  He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn’t paid for them.Funny English Joke - Window

Hellloo………… Just because I have fair hair doesn’t mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!

Hellloo? It’s been a year! I told him. There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up.
He never called back.

I bet he felt like an idiot. Emoji

 

  

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  ‘We think he may have Tourette’s, we’re looking into it.’

Answer: The Wedding Singer! Spoken by Adam Sandler to Angela Featherstone.  

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Welcome to the party, pal!’

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

Construction of a stronger and more massive bell tower for the monastery to replace the one destroyed during the last civil strife with a neighboring lord was well underway when the old Monk visited the site. The Abbot showed the Monk the drawings and model for the three-bell tower. The Monk was impressed until he stood where the bell chamber would be and saw the spiral staircase in this medieval bell tower running the wrong direction (counterclockwise). 

“The staircase direction must be changed,” said the Old Monk. The Abbot looked at the staircase and agreed. Why?

ANSWER:  Spiral staircases in medieval castles, towers and Keeps were run clockwise. This is because all knights used to be right-handed. When the intruding army would climb the stairs they would not be able to use their right hand, which was holding the sword because of the difficulties of climbing the stairs, giving clear advantage to the defenders. Many of the orders of clergy had military training in order to defend monasteries and Abbeys during the middle ages. 

Left-handed knights would have had no troubles, except left-handed people could never become knights because it was assumed that they were descendants of the devil. 

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Each group of words has one four letter prefix that fits in front of them to form another word or phrase. Can you figure out which word it is for each group?

1. Nail, man, out, ten

2. Sick, work, room, plate

3. Do, up, shift, believe

4. Range, shot, horn, bow

5. Back, baked, way, hour

6. Dress, band, ache, rest

7. Chair, jump, light, rise

8. Note, print, ball, step

9. Arm, fly, works, sale

 
 
 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com

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