WELCOME to Thursday, September 3, 2015.
20 Momisms Translated – What They REALLY Mean…..
Maybe –> Probably not
We’ll see –> NEVER
Let’s play the quiet game. –> Stop talking, my ears are bleeding.
I love the outfit you put together. –> Please spill something on it before we leave the house.
Where did you hear that? –> Your information is completely false.
One day you’ll thank me. –> Hopefully, you’ll forget this ever happened.
Can mommy have some privacy in the bathroom? –> Mommy needs a glass of wine.
Mommy needs a glass of wine. –> Mommy needs a shot of tequila.
Do you think that’s a good idea? –> That’s the worst idea EVER!
Uh-huh –> I have no earthly idea what you’re talking about.
Wow, that’s great sweetie! –> I still have no idea what you just said, but you sounded excited so I went with it.
Really? Really? –> WTF is wrong with you?
Because I said so. –> I’m losing this battle and this is my last resort (or I’m tired of explaining stuff).
You are the best. –> Millennium mom speak meaning anything from you really are the best to you are thoroughly average.
Just a sec. or In a minute –> I’m not stopping what I’m doing or moving from this position until you scream for me again.
Your forehead is cold as ice. –> Get up, Get dressed, Get the heck off to school.
Go ask Dad –> His turn to be the bad guy – mwahahaha.
The dog loves you the most. –> I will guilt you into feeding/walking that dog.
Yes, you do sound like Beyonce. –> Please let my child have other talents.
I love you –> There is nothing on Earth I could love more!
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“A study found that many types of head lice have mutated and now have become resistant to over-the-counter treatments. The problem has scientists scratching their heads.” -Conan O’Brien
“Google has announced that the next version of its Android phone software will be called Marshmallow. It’ll be similar to the last version but with s’more features.” -Seth Meyers
“This weekend a couple from Connecticut will have the longest marriage ever recorded in the U.S. They said the secret to their long-lasting marriage is love, compromise, and the fact that neither one of them has been able to hear a word the other one has said in more than 30 years.” -Jimmy Kimmel
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Two fellows stopped into an English pub for a drink. They called the proprietor over and asked him to settle an argument.
“Are there two pints in a quart or four?” asked one.
“There be two pints in a quart,” confirmed the proprietor.
They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their order.
“Two pints please, miss, and the bartender offered to buy them for us.”
The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous, so one of the fellows called out to the proprietor at the other end of the bar, “You did say two pints, didn’t you?”
“That’s right,” he called back, “two pints.”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Most things in here don’t react well to bullets.’
Answer: The Hunt for Red October! Connery to Baldwin just before Baldwin went looking for the renegade cook.
Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Kiddo, if you were any more wound up, you’d be a Timex.’
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Six letters have I, and many more;
One word tells what the others are for;
Conceal a thing is what I do;
So what am I? Need a clue?
ANSWER: A riddle!
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Who can’t live without Spell Check in their email or word software? It’s a great tool…
Unless you are poor Paula Abdul who transforms into “Pail Abut” when the Spell Checker has at her.
The following TV and Movie Celebrities have been Spell Checked and are ready for you to uncover their true identities.
1. Court Coax
2. Action Cutter
3. Kite Wingless
4. Summon Cowbell
5. Mercy Stripe
6. Deli Moose
7. Camera Dies
8. Renew Sewage
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/