Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, August 21, 2015.  

Rules of the Air………..

Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

Flying isn’t dangerous. Crashing is what’s dangerous.

It’s always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.

The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

A ‘good’ landing is one from which you can walk away. A ‘great’ landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

Learn from the mistakes of others. You won’t live long enough to make all of them yourself.

You know you’ve landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.

Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn’t get to five minutes earlier.

Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you’ve made.

There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.

You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

Helicopters can’t fly; they’re just so ugly the earth repels them.

If all you can see out of the window is ground that’s going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.

It’s always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

Keep looking around. There’s always something you’ve missed.

Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It’s the law. And it’s not subject to repeal.

The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people and whatever you do, 

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! 

 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY    

Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly 

you are doing the impossible. Francis of Assisi 

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched – 

they must be felt with the heart. – Helen Keller  

I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.  Jimmy Dean 

Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence. – Vince Lombardi 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.

“Why?” my daughter asked.

“Because it’s been on the ground, you don’t know where it’s been, it’s dirty, and probably has germs” I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, “Mommy, how do you know all this stuff, you are so smart.”

I was thinking quickly. “All moms know this stuff. It’s on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a Mommy.” We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

“OH…I get it!” she beamed, “So if you don’t pass the test you have to be the daddy.”

“Exactly” I replied back with a big smile on my face. 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘He gave Jenny… the huggies!’

Answer: The muppets take manhattan! Miss Piggy confronts Kermit in the park after she sees him hugging his friend Jenny. 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘I’m a god. I’m not ‘the’ God. I’m ‘a’ god.’

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Can you find the eleven hidden colors in the following paragraph: 

Many injured animals are invited to live at the ‘Toronto Range’. Stop in kangaroo corner and marvel at the lovely creatures within. Dig over the potato patch to find small furry caterpillars, but don’t yell! Owls can be found swooping for edible rodents, earwigs or perhaps bluebottles in the undergrowth. The brown bear, Rob, lacks grace and may look like an ogre, enter at your own risk! Peacocks can be found showing their colourful wares, which look fantastic when viewed with our ultraviolet torch. 

   

ANSWER:  Many inju(red) animals are invited t(o live) at the ‘Toront(o Range)’. Sto(p in k)angaroo corner and marvel at the lovely creatures with(in. Dig o)ver the potato patch to find small furry caterpillars, but don’t (yell! Ow)ls can be found swooping fo(r ed)ible rodents, earwigs or perhaps (blue)bottles in the undergrowth. The (brown) bear, Ro(b, lack)s grace and may look like an o(gre, en)ter at your own risk! Peacocks can be found showing their colorful wares, which look fantastic when viewed with our ultra(violet) torch. 

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

It roars like thunder, 

And rises higher, 

While breathing fire, 

This wingless wonder. 

If it leaves its cave,

Drags us in its tail,

Over hill and dale,

Then you must be brave.

Early morning flight,

Silently it flies,

Slowly in the skies.

Hides before the night.

My kingdom at least,

To the brave young knight,

If you name it right.

What is this huge beast?

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com

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