Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, August 14, 2015.   

MORE PONDERING………………..
Why is an alarm clock going “off” when it actually turns on?
If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?
Why is Grape Nuts cereal called that, when it contains neither grapes, nor nuts?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Why is it called a “drive through” if you have to stop?
Why does mineral water that has “trickled through mountains for centuries” go out of date next year?
Why are Softballs hard?
Do the minutes on the movie boxes include the previews, credits, and special features, or just the movie itself?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don’t point to their pants when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn’t it be called an inlet.
Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?
Can blind people see their dreams?
Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can’t go that fast on any road?
Why do they call it “getting your dog fixed” if afterwards it doesn’t work anymore?
Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn’t it be leaving a dump?
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn’t usually wear any pants?
How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?
If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why’s it still #2?
What color would a smurf turn if you choked it?
Where’s the egg in an egg roll?
Why aren’t blue berries blue?
Where is the lead in a lead pencil?
Why is Greenland called green when it is covered in ice?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY    

But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious. And for that I am grateful. Elizabeth Edwards  

Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one’s weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart. Mahatma Gandhi  

Right now I am trying to be in a place of calm, a place where I can chill out and then handle the chaos of life better. You don’t just get it overnight; you have to work at it. It’s a daily struggle. Jackee Harry  

In every day, there are 1,440 minutes. That means we have 1,440 daily opportunities to make a positive impact. Les Brown  

The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine. Mike Murdock  

Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become. C. S. Lewis  

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily. Zig Ziglar 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A husband looking through the paper came upon a study that said women use more words than men.

Excited to prove to his wife that he had been right all along when he accused her of talking too much, he showed her the study results. It read “Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use 30,000”.

The wife thought for a while, then finally she said to her husband “It’s because we have to repeat everything we say.”

The husband said “What?”Emoji 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? (whispers to self) ‘Come and get me. Come and get me.’  

Answer:  City Slickers 2! Duke, trying to get Mitch excited about the hunt for Curly’s gold.

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘He won’t kill us. He’s not that nice.’

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

In your future and in your past

I come and go so senseless and fast

My purpose is unknown to all

Remembrance seems to drift then fall

I travel by night and fade by day

Because that is my common way 

ANSWER:  Dreams  

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Can you find a three-letter word that will go in front of each word in the group to make a new, compound word? For each group, the three-letter word will have just one letter changed from the answer to the previous group! (Example: Group 1 = Run, Group 2 = Fun, Group 3 = Sun)

1) Fight, walk, fish, nap

2) Back, throat, lass, let

3) Case, cracker, house, shell

4) Side, come, match, size

  

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD AND MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR SOLVING THURSDAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY! NICE SOLVING WORK LADIES! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.GodLovesPraise.com. 

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