WELCOME to Friday, July 24, 2015.
Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?
If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
Why isn’t 11 pronounced “onety-one”?
You can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed, but why can’t you be simply whelmed?
Shouldn’t the opposite of shut up be shut down?
If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
How come there aren’t B batteries?
If you got in a cab and the driver drove backwards, would he end up owing you money?
Why is the word for “a fear of long words,” hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, so long?
Why do they call it a TV “set” when you only get one?
How do “Do not walk on the grass” signs get there?
If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
If a husband dies, the wife is called a widow. If a child’s parents die, the child is called an orphan. Why isn’t there a word for a parent that loses a child?
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
How do you remove a club soda stain?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you’re just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
How do people get discombobulated? Have you ever seen someone who was combobulated?
Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
Work hard for what you want because it won’t come to you without a fight. You have to be strong and courageous and know that you can do anything you put your mind to. If somebody puts you down or criticizes you, just keep on believing in yourself and turn it into something positive. Leah LaBelle
Find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. Joseph Campbell
Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. – Helen Keller
I truly believe that everything that we do and everyone that we meet is put in our path for a purpose. There are no accidents; we’re all teachers – if we’re willing to pay attention to the lessons we learn, trust our positive instincts and not be afraid to take risks or wait for some miracle to come knocking at our door. Marla Gibbs
Positive anything is better than negative nothing. – Elbert Hubbard
No matter what you’re going through, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel and it may seem hard to get to it but you can do it and just keep working towards it and you’ll find the positive side of things. Demi Lovato
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans… walk into a very fine restaurant. “I’m sorry,” says the maître d’, after scrutinizing the group… “You can’t come in here without a Thai. “
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Melted chocolate in the dash, that really ups the resale value.’ ‘I think we’re gonna be ok here. They’re covered in a thin candy shell.’ ‘Your brain has a thick candy shell.’ ‘Your brain’s the one with the shell on it…’ ‘Are you talking?’ ‘Shut up, Richard!’‘
Answer: Tommy Boy!
Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Because you told me the first time that I met you that you didn’t gobble and you didn’t lie. Well I don’t [care] if you gobble but don’t you ever lie to me again. Because I’ll forgive you once, but I won’t forgive you twice.”
Thurday’s Quizzler is……….
In a sylasearch I give you a syllable-starter, which is the first syllable in the words you are to find. I will also give you a listing of the other syllables
(in which each may only be used once) which you must use to figure out the 9 words.
Syllable List – a, a, a, al, don, en, graph, ic, ka, keet, lel, ly, med, ses, the, tial, ty
How many syllables, each word has:
ANSWER: 1. Parka (par ka) 2. Pardon (par don) 3. Party (par ty) 4. Paragraph (par a graph) 5. Parallel (par al lel) 6. Parakeet (par a keet) 7. Partially (par tial ly) 8. Parentheses (par en the ses) 9. Paramedic (par a med ic)
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
I am seen through many eyes.
Even the blind see me.
Through me, nothing is impossible.
Many stories come from within me.
Time can hold still, or move at the speed of light.
The unthinkable comes to life in me.
I am a wondrous world full of life, or even death.
Love can rule, and hate fades out of the picture.
Peace can be found throughout and no wars.
It is within me where only I can control; no one else can.
I am a place that no one can take from you.
What am I?
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS, MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! NICE WORK BANKS!
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/