Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, July 10, 2015.    

Online College Courses for Women…

Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before

The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits

Parties: Going Without New Outfits

Man Management: Discover How Minor Household Chores

Can Wait Until After the Game

Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet, Too

Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor Is His

Communication Skills I: Tears, the Last Resort, Not the First

Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking

Communication Skills III: Getting What You Want, Without Nagging

Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You Can Acquire

Party Etiquette: Drinking Your Fair Share

Telephone Skills: How to Stop Talking and Hang Up

Introduction to Parking

Advanced Parking: Reversing Into a Space

Overcoming Anal Retentive Behavior: Leaving the Towels on the Floor

Water Retention: Fact or Fat

Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter

Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not For Human Consumption

Cooking III: How Not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People

Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully

Dancing: Why Men Don’t Like To

Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have

TV Remotes: For Men Only

Emotions: Men Have Them, Too

Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice

Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together

Ballet: For Women Only

Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both

Appreciating the Humor of the Three Stooges 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and whatever

you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY     

The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life. – William Morris 

The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls. – Pablo Picasso

Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one’s weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart. Mahatma Gandhi 

That’s the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it’s impossible to ever see the end. The fog is like a cage without a key. Elizabeth Wurtzel 

Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily. Napoleon Bonaparte

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

A guy goes to a psychiatrist. “Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam; then I’m a teepee; then I’m a wigwam. It’s driving me crazy. What’s wrong with me?” The doctor replies: “It’s very simple. You’re two tents.”Emoji

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Bees! Bees everywhere! Oh my God, they’re here! They’re ripping my flesh off!… Run! Save yourselves! Your firearms are useless against them!’

Answer: Tommyboy! Chris Farley and David Spade. Need I say more? 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Problem, guys?’ ‘Just scoping out your civilian wardrobe.’ ‘Pretty cool, huh?’ ‘For a fashion victim.’

  

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Put this on,

And warm you’ll be.

Take one off,

And an emotion, you’ll see.   

ANSWER: When you put on a GLOVE, you’ll be warm.

Take off the letter G, and LOVE is left.

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

I am three words,

Two of them appear the same,

Two are pronounced the same.

One is the third person use of “capable” or “permit”.

One means to sleep, but only for a bit.

The last word means a group of deer,

Perhaps now you can tell me, what words are here?

 

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org.

 

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