Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, June 26, 2015.   

Friday’s Ponderings………………  

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, does it make a sound?
A single fact can spoil a good argument.
Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.
I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to.
Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we’re already there?
If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If you yelled at your plants instead of talking to them, would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
Is there another word for synonym?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all”?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What’s another word for thesaurus?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! 

 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on 

coming along and trying to put things in it. Terry Pratchett

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. Phyllis Diller

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I’ve ever met. Herb Caen

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. Rodney Dangerfield

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. Elayne Boosler

It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always 

just exactly fits the newspaper. Jerry Seinfeld

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

A scientist was successful in cloning himself. He was asked to speak at a national convention of cloning scientists. The meeting room was located on the 45th floor of a New York skyscraper. The scientist arrived with his clone and proceeded to the podium. The clone sat at the end of the head table. The scientist began the speech intending a tribute to the advances in the field of modern biology.  “My fellow scientists,” he began. But before he could utter another word, the clone sprang to his feet and shouted out, “he’s an idiot!”. The crowd began to murmur as the scientist commanded the clone to “sit down and shut-up!”. Apologizing for the interruption, the scientist began again, “My fellow scientists,”. Again the clone sprang to his feet and yelled, “this dumb idiot couldn’t produce a copy on a Xerox. He’s fraudulent lying scum!”.  Incensed, the scientist rushed to the clone, grabbed him, and threw him out of the window. The crowd gasped and security rushed into the room. A short while later New York’s finest arrived and were explained the events that had transpired.  The police chief said to the scientist, “We are going to have to arrest you.” The scientist replied, “For what? I have committed no crime. What fell from the window was a clone, not a person.”. The attending scientists nodded in agreement. “Well,” retorted the police chief, “we can not let this heinous act go unchallenged.”. The police chief thought for a moment and ordered the scientist held for “Making an obscene clone fall…” 

 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “Stop your grinnin’ and drop your linen!”

Answer: Aliens! Hudson from “Aliens” is one of the most quotable characters ever captured on celluloid. He is the one-liner King. In this scene he has just located the Colonists on LV-426 using their ID chips – and he’s quite chuffed about it! 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Punk. Quarterback Punk.”

   

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.

Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic

Answer: The words are Start and Tart.

1. Outer layer -> Oxidized metal

2. Defraud; violate rules -> Thermal energy in transit

3. Sensation of cold -> Local land elevation

4. Go upward -> Jointed appendage; branch

5. Strong metal rope -> Having necessary skill

6. Confined; restrained -> Old; grew older

7. Stop; discontinue -> Freedom from hardship

8. Lacking dirt -> Lacking fat   

ANSWER: 1. Crust -> Rust  2. Cheat -> Heat  3. Chill -> Hill  4. Climb -> Limb  5. Cable -> Able  6. Caged -> Aged

7. Cease -> Ease  8. Clean -> Lean  

 

Friday’s  Quizzler is……….

What is represented below?

C = @

D = !

N = *

O = %

T = #

U = /

@%*!/@# = ?

 

 

 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR SOLVING THURSDAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji EmojiEmojiEmoji

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org

    

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