Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, June 25, 2015.   

Improve your writing…… really…..

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.

2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

3. Employ the vernacular.

4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. 

5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

6. Remember to never split an infinitive.

7. Contractions aren’t necessary.

8. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

9. One should never generalize.

10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”

11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

12. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.

13. Be more or less specific.

14. Understatement is always best.

15. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

16. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

17. The passive voice is to be avoided.

18. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

19. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

20. Who needs rhetorical questions?

21. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

22. Don’t never use a double negation.

23. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point

24. Do not put statements in the negative form.

25. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.

26. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.

27. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great 

deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.

28. A writer must not shift your point of view.

29. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a 

preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)

30. Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!

31. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as 

of 10 or more words, to the irantecedents.

32. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

33. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

34. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.

35. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

36. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.

37. Always pick on the correct idiom.

38. The adverb always follows the verb.

39. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; They’re old hat; seek viable alternatives.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! 

 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“I hope everyone who deserved it had a good Father’s Day. Kids will buy cards and T-shirts and even little trophies that say their father is the best dad in the world. But the fact of the matter is that simple math tells us the vast majority of these kids are lying.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“There are reports that Amazon may be able to launch its drone delivery program within the next year. So if you hear your doorbell and see a robot hovering near your house, it could be the end of the world…or, the 12-pack of Brita filters you ordered.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Beachgoers in Florida have been warned about deadly flesh-eating bacteria in the water. Of course, if you’re even in Florida, you’ve already ignored a few warnings.” -Seth Meyers 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

When our dryer broke, my husband set to work. He found the problem quickly and, since he needed to replace the belt, decided to repair a cracked knob and a broken hinge too. Upon arrival at the Sears parts counter, he said he needed a belt, knob, hinge, and a crescent-shaped wire he’d found inside the dryer. He didn’t know where it belonged, but he confidently assured the clerk that he could figure it out once he got into the job.  “I have the other parts,” the clerk said, “but for the wire you have to go to Lingerie. This is an underwire from your wife’s bra.”

 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Remember my birthday party? You drank all the Blueberry Schnapps and luged on my mom?”

Answer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer! Buffy tries to convince Grueler that he doesn’t want to kill her now he is a vampire, because they used to be friends. Luke Perry disposes of him shortly anyway (what a depressing way to go – at the hand of Mr Perry who, having stabbed you through the heart goes on to call you “a coat rack”). 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Stop your grinnin’ and drop your linen!”

   

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

What phrase is represented below?

HEA wooden stick VEN

HEA wooden stick + sulphur head VEN

HEA wooden stick + sulphur head + phosphorus tip VEN   

ANSWER:  A Match made in Heaven! A match (wooden stick + sulphur head + phosphorus tip, which are the components of matches) is being made in HEAVEN 

 

Thursday’s  Quizzler is……….

When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.

Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic

Answer: The words are Start and Tart.

1. Outer layer -> Oxidized metal

2. Defraud; violate rules -> Thermal energy in transit

3. Sensation of cold -> Local land elevation

4. Go upward -> Jointed appendage; branch

5. Strong metal rope -> Having necessary skill

6. Confined; restrained -> Old; grew older

7. Stop; discontinue -> Freedom from hardship

8. Lacking dirt -> Lacking fat

 

 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR SOLVING TUESDAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji Emoji

 

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org

   

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