Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, June 12, 2015.  

Just for Friday, funny sayings, witty quotes, clever bumper sticker quotes, & interesting thoughts.  

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, 

there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

You can’t have everything….where would you put it?

Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.

The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by those who got there first.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.

On the other hand you have different fingers.

Change is inevitable except from a vending machine.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.

Those who live by the sword… get shot by those who don’t.

I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

He’s not dead… he’s electroencephalographically challenged.

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

I wished the buck stopped here as I could use a few.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people and whatever you do, 

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! 

 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

Starbucks may be phasing out cappuccinos after customers began to notice that they’ve disappeared from some stores across the country. Starbucks plans to focus on its best-selling menu items: milkshakes disguised as coffee. Jimmy Fallon.

Jeb Bush is taking his presidential campaign on a tour of Europe. He’s telling Europeans, “I like you guys because you’re comfortable having the same family in charge for centuries.” Conan O’Brien

A Nobel Prize-winning scientist was asked about female scientists, and he said, “Three things happen when they are in the lab: You fall in love with them, they fall in love with you, and when you criticize them, they cry.” His funeral is Saturday. Conan O’Brien

There is a push for American Pharoah to be named Sports Illustrated’s “Sportsman of the Year.” There’s also a much smaller push for American Pharoah to be featured in the next swimsuit issue. Conan O’Brien

Hillary Clinton has joined Instagram. Meanwhile, her Democratic opponent Bernie Sanders joined telegram. Seth Meyers

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

The big chess tournament was taking place at the Plaza in New York. After the first day’s competition, many of the winners were sitting around in the foyer of the hotel talking about their matches and bragging about their wonderful play. After a few drinks they started getting louder and louder until finally, the desk clerk couldn’t take any more and kicked them out. 

The next morning the Manager called the clerk into his office and told him there had been many complaints about his being so rude to the hotel guests….instead of kicking them out, he should have just asked them to be less noisy. The clerk responded, “I’m sorry, but if there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”  

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “Why don’t you love me Jenny?”

Answer: Forrest Gump! Wonderful movie! Great cast. What more can I say? How about Academy Awards. It won quite a few! Tom Hanks was brilliant as the ever simple Forrest who wanted nothing more than to be loved by the girl he loved. Problem is he fell in love with the wrong girl. She never really loved Forrest she used him repeatedly and he let her. 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Rumble young man rumble!”

   

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Help Beethoven use these clues below to decipher these popular Christmas/Holiday tunes.

Example: A Triad of Monarchs  Answer: We Three Kings

1. Sir Lancelot with laryngitis.

2. Frozen precipitation commences.

3. Oh, member of the round table with missing areas.

4. I envisioned a trio of marine vessels. 

5. Do you perceive the same longitudinal pressure that stimulates my auditory sense organs? 

6. Leave and do a broadcast on an elevated peak.

Bonus: The apartment of 2 psychiatrists. 

  

ANSWER: 1. Silent Night  2. Let it Snow  3. O Holy Night  4. I saw Three Ships  5. Do you hear what I hear?
6. Go tell it on the Mountain  Bonus: The Nutcracker Suite 
 

Friday’s  Quizzler is……….

The blanks below can be filled in with words spelled with the same four letters in different order. Find them. 

There once was a musical, _ _ _ _.

It was performed in three _ _ _ _.

When it was through,

The audience flew

And all of the _ _ _ _ went _ _ _ _.

 
 
 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! BRILLIANT SOLVING JOB BANKS.  EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji EmojiEmojiEmoji

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orghttp://myinvitepay.com/?ref=225785

  

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