Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday, June 8, 2015.      

Books that Should be Written……………..  

101 Uses for Baking Soda by Armand Hammer 

Unusual Foods from Exotic Places by Lil Wormser-Goode

A History of Jazz by Bertha D. Blues

Ageing Gracefully by Noah Zarque

All Lawyers are Crooked by Ida Claire

All my Dreams Came True by Jason Ranebose

Always Bring an Umbrella by Justin Case

Animal Diseases by Ann Thracks

Avoiding High Construction Costs by Bill Jerome Holmes

Basic Yoga by Eileen and Ben Dover

Car Repair by Miss Anna Lisa Carr

Caulking Made Easy by Phil deCrevis

Cloning for Dummies by Ima Dubble

Coffees of the World by Jason Sanborn

Collecting Antiques by Tiffany Lampe

Conservative Thought by Eileen Wright

Dealing with Mental Illness by Lucinda Head

Depressing Jobs by Paul Bearer

Developing a Healthy Attitude toward Life by Kaye Syrah-Cera

Early American Furniture by Chester Drorz

Fall Flowers by Chris Anthemum

Firearm Safety by Rick O’Shea

Fishing Handbook for Women by Brooke Trout

Fun on the Beach by Sandy Cheeks

Hands Up! by Harry Pitts

History of Roman Comedy by Hilarius, translated by Rosetta Stone

History of Sports in France by Jaques Itsch

How to Become a Movie Star by Hooker Crooke

How to Cure a Headache by Tekhan Al-K’seltser

How to Get your Boss’s Attention by Gloria Sass

How to Invest your Money by Lois Riske

How to Run a Gas Station by Phil Erupp

How to Survive in a Man’s World by B. A. Mann

How to Write a Best Seller by Paige Turner

I Could have Danced All Night by Sheik Yerbouti

I Got my Start on Wall Street by Robin Banks

I Survived Hurricane Katrina by Helen Highwater

Improving your Memory by Mustafa Gahten

Introduction to Meteorology by Wayne Dwops

Japanese Cuisine by Terry Yaqui

Just Say “No!” by Kurt Reply

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do, 

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! 

 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“During a speech in Iowa this weekend, Bernie Sanders criticized the billionaire class and said they ‘can’t have it all.’ Billionaires would have responded but they were busy this weekend literally having it all.” -Jimmy Fallon 

“Yesterday New Jersey got four inches of rain. In Newark there were fish in the street. Some people came out to catch them and eat them. Officials had to issue a warning not to eat the fish. If you have to be reminded not to eat fish that washed up on the street in Newark, I think we’d be OK without you.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“In Michigan, the world’s oldest person recently turned 116. When the president called to congratulate her, she said, ‘Tell McKinley I’m busy.'” -Conan O’Brien

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my Mom would be like. The way he tells it, the minister asked my Mom, “Do you take this man to be your husband.” And she said, “I do.”  Then the minister asked my Dad, “Do you take this woman to be your wife,” and my Mom said, “He does.” 

 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “That there’s Pepper, she’s pregnant but she can fight like a man!”   

Answer: Crybaby! Crybaby (Johnny Depp) is introducing his “gang” to his new girl Allison(Amy Locane). Pepper was played by talk show host Ricki Lake. Also in this movie were Patty Hearst, Iggy Pop and Traci Lords 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I am here to chew bubble gum and kick sass. Unfortunately I’m out of bubble gum!”

   

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

The following not only describes a famous monument, but is an anagram for its name. What is it?

Built to Stay Free    

ANSWER: Statue of Liberty 

 

Monday’s  Quizzler is……….

I’ve many holes but I will never leak

Not comfortable? Just give me a tweak

Though often together most of the day

Come bedtime we’ll go our separate ways

Life without me might be kind of a drag

‘Cause when I’m not around things tend to sag

Doing my job, your reliable mate

This is a “hold-up” you’ll appreciate

What am I?

 
 

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orghttp://myinvitepay.com/?ref=225785

 

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