WELCOME to Friday, June 5, 2015.
More Punography for the weekend…..
A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.
Practice safe eating—always use condiments.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
He used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
He often broke into a song because he couldn’t find the key.
Every calendar’s days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted. ‘Taint yours and it taint mine.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
And finally in the grand tradition of saving the best pun for last…..
The man blotting his wet shoes with newspapers, explained, “These are The Times that dry men’s soles.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
You’ve done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination. Ralph Marston
Your attitude is like a box of crayons that color your world. Constantly color your picture gray, and your picture will always be bleak. Try adding some bright colors to the picture by including humor, and your picture begins to lighten up. Allen Klein
The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. Christopher McCandless
Your destiny is to fulfill those things upon which you focus most intently. So choose to keep your focus on that which is truly magnificent, beautiful, uplifting and joyful. Your life is always moving toward something. Ralph Marston
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Ahh yes, but camels are smarter!”
Answer: The Scorpion King! When asked by his brother why he chooses not to ride a horse, they’re faster. The Rock’s Character, Mathyeus answers back with this comment.
Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “That there’s Pepper, she’s pregnant but she can fight like a man!”
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
I have been called a savage, a chief and oft times a leader.
Some have called me the embodiment of courage, although to a Crook I did surrender.
Where I was born, there were no enclosures.
In the end, to bring me down, it took 5000 soldiers.
As the “terror of the country”, I had a reputation of cruelty and cunning.
My tactics consisted of hitting and then running.
Many movies and stories of me were made.
The memories of me, the most famous of my people, will never fade.
People have spoken ill of me so many times it would give your throat a lump.
Yet sometimes, my name is the last word said when people make a big jump.
Now it’s time to give it a try.
Do you know my name; who am I?
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
The following not only describes a famous monument, but is an anagram for its name. What is it?
Built to Stay Free
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/