WELCOME to Wednesday, June 3, 2015.
Fools rush in where fools have been before.
To avoid duplication, make three copies.
It’s called “take home” pay because you can’t afford to go anywhere else with it.
Success is relative—the greater the success, the more relatives.
Anyone can be a winner—unless, of course, there’s a second entry.
The slower you work, the fewer mistakes you make.
If Murphy’s Law can go wrong, it will.
If at first you succeed, try to hide your astonishment.
You must have learned from others’ mistakes. You haven’t had time to think all those up yourself.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
People like criticism—just keep it positive and flattering.
It’s OK to let your mind go blank, but please turn off the sound.
Worry kills more people than work because more people worry than work.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
When you’re getting kicked from behind, that means you’re in front.
Misers aren’t much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.
The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
The real reason you can’t take it with you is that it goes before you do.
Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.
The world is full of willing people—some willing to work and some willing to let them.
Some people are like blisters. They don’t show up until the work is done.
A babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Most people deserve each other.
All the good ones, no matter what it is, are taken.
The one who snores will fall asleep first.
The length of a marriage is inversely proportional to the amount of money spent on the wedding.
The gifts you buy your spouse are never as good and apropos as the gifts your neighbor buys their spouse.
Never get overly excited about a man/woman by just the way they look from behind.
If you help a relative in need they will remember you the next time they are in need.
The probability of meeting someone you know increases greatly when you are out with someone you do not want to be seen with.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.” –Groucho Marx
“The vitality of thought is in adventure. Ideas won’t keep. Something must be done about them.” –Alfred North Whitehead
“Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.” –Mark Twain
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Once there was this bus which happened to be from Sesamee Street. On the bus were some very strange people with very strange things to do. First there were two identical twins whose names were both Pattie. They were very big and muscular, especially for women. Next there was a man named Ross. He was a extrodinary guy so he was dubbed “Special Ross”. After that there was a hefty, overweight man named Leonard. Since his cheeks were so puffy people decided to nickname him “Leonard Cheeks”. Finally, all the people on the bus had bunions at which they feverously picked and scratched. What do we call this bus filled with strange people? Of course; we call them: “Two all-beef Patties, Special Ross, Leonard Cheeks, pickin’ bunions, on a Sesamee Street bus!”
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “A little lonely out on that limb Miss Watson?”
Answer: Sister Act 2! Sister Mary Clarence (Whoopi Goldberg) poses this question to Rita (Lauryn Hill) after the sister decides that she is gonna lay down the law in the music class. Rita tries to get all the kids to rebel against her but when they don’t Rita says “so much for friendship” and leaves the classroom. This is from “Sister Act 2.”
Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Remember that time I had mono? That was like the best diet EVER!”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Jesse James’ lesser known brother, Eddie has also decided to take up robbing banks for a living. He is unfortunately a little slow and has forgotten to bring the dynamite to blow open the safe!
Using logic, the following clues and a large amount of patience, can you figure out the 10 digit number to crack the safe?
*All digits from 0 to 9 are used exactly once.
*The sum of the 2nd, 5th, 6th and 8th digits is a single digit number.
*The 4th digit is a perfect square.
*The 3rd digit is 1.
*The sum of the 4th and 7th digits is a perfect square.
*The value of the 10th digit is twice that of the 2nd.
*The product of the 4th and 6th digits is equal to that of the 10th and 2nd digits.
*The 5 is next to the 6 but not the 4.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Identify the fruits and vegetables from the following clues:
(Don’t assume that you know how part of a clue is pronounced. There may be more than one way!)
1. “Mom, may we please go outside? Will you please let us play? PLEASE! PLEASE!”
2. Another name for a taxi + the rings in a tree indicate what? = ___________________.
3. A pool stick + C + a burnt brownish color = ______________________.
4. Your mother pairs socks at the toes.
5. A drink + me + the end of the word “talon” = _____________________.
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/