WELCOME to Tuesday, June 30, 2015.
When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
Why doesn’t “onomatopoeia” sound like what it is?
Why do ‘tug’boats push their barges?
Why do we sing ‘Take me out to the ball game’, when we are already there?
Why are they called ‘stands’ when they’re made for sitting?
Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
Why does one get in trouble for WRECKless driving?
Does a fish get cramps after eating?
Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“A rare fish normally found only in the Amazon was caught yesterday in a New Jersey pond. Researchers believe the fish got to New Jersey the same way as everyone else: by giving up.” -Seth Meyers
“Some people paid more than $300 for tickets to go to the NBA draft, just to sit there and watch the draft. Also, it’s really your one chance to stand up and shout, ‘Is it me or is there a draft in here?'” -Jimmy Kimmel
“According to a new survey, Pizza Hut’s new hot dog pizza is the second worst pizza in America. Which explains their new slogan: ‘Pizza Hut – not the worst pizza in America.'” –Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
On vacation, a man and his wife check into a hotel. The husband wants to have a snack at the restaurant, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest.
She lies down on the bed… just then, a train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she’s thrown out of the bed.
Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. But just a few minutes later a train again shakes the room so violently, she’s pitched to the floor.
Exasperated, she calls the front desk and asks for the manager who says he’ll be right up.
The manager is skeptical but the wife insists the story is true.
“Look… lie here on the bed — you’ll be thrown right to the floor!” So he lies down next to the wife.
Just then the husband walks in. He takes one look at the manager lying in bed with his wife and yells, “Hey! What are you doing in here!?”
The manager calmly replies, “Would you believe I’m waiting for a train?”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “A man with lint-damaged hair but nonetheless a fireball!”
Answer: Good Morning Vietnam! I wish I could treat my superiors like this. This is Adrian Crohnhauer’s description of his boss. His boss says things like “that’s about as good a polka as you’ll ever hear.”
Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “You’re standing in your pizza.”
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
A Name Train is a puzzle where each name is connected together like box cars in a train. You are given the first car (the Engine) and the last car (the caboose), and you have to fill in the car or cars in between. Every two consecutive cars will form a name of a person or character. Here is an example Name Train: Joan [ ] Li. The answer is Joan Jet Li (Joan Jet-Female singer, Jet Li-Actor) Ready? OK here goes:
1. Chris [ ] Hudson
2. Chris [ ] Asimov
3. Boy [ ] [ ] Ford
4. Elton [ ] [ ] Newton
5. Curious [ ] [ ] [ ] Browne
ANSWER: 1. Chris Rock Hudson 2. Chris Isaac Asimov 3. Boy George Harrison Ford 4. Elton John Wayne Newton 5. Curious George Michael Jackson Browne
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/