Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday, May 6, 2015.    

Things Mom Would Never Say……………. 

1. “How on Earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?” 

2. “Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too.” 

3. “Just leave all the lights on… it makes the house look more cheery.” 

4. “Let me smell that shirt — Yeah, it’s good for another week.”

5. “Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day.”

6. “Well, if Bob’s mamma says it’s OK, that’s good enough for me.”

7. “The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It’s not like I’m running a prison around here.”

8. “I don’t have a tissue with me… just use your sleeve.”

9. “Don’t bother wearing a jacket – the wind-chill is bound to improve.”

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! 

Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! 

 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.” 

–Henny Youngman 

“Television is for appearing on – not for looking at.” 

–Noel Coward 

“I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” 

–Rodney Dangerfield  

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

“I’m bored, Watson. I need something to investigate. Did anything of more than casual interest arrive in the post?”

“There’s a letter from Internal Revenue. They’re going to audit your tax return.”

“Why would they?”

“I’m a doctor, Holmes, not an accountant. My guess is you made too many deductions.” 

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘This could quite possibly be the stupidest person on the planet!’    

Answer: Ruthless People! Cop on rooftop when Bill Pullman tries to rob Judge Reinhold who’s trying to rob Danny DeVito. 

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  ‘Stay back you worthless bag of bones, before I have you gassed!’        

     

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

Handel has been killed and Beethoven is on the case. He has interviewed the four suspects and their statements are shown below. Each suspect has said two sentences. One sentence of each suspect is a lie and one sentence is the truth. Help Beethoven figure out who the killer is.

Joplin: I did not kill Handel. Either Grieg is the killer or none of us is.

Grieg: I did not kill Handel. Gershwin is the killer.

Strauss: I did not kill Handel. Grieg is lying when he says Gershwin is the killer.

Gershwin: I did not kill Handel. If Joplin did not kill him, then Grieg did.

 

ANSWER: Strauss is the one who killed Handel. You need to take turns assuming someone is the killer; that means everyone’s second sentence is a lie. If Joplin was the killer, Grieg’s lie mixed with Strauss’ counteracts the other. If Grieg was the killer, Gershwin would need to be a killer too. If Gershwin was the killer, Grieg and Strauss counter each other again, but with Strauss, everything would fit. 

Wednesday’s  Quizzler is……….

Below are incomplete words. Replace the letters in each bracket so that you can complete the word on the left and begin the word on the right. Good luck.

Indivi ( _ _ _ _ ) ity

Din ( _ _ _ ) ve

Can ( _ _ _ ) lar

Bru ( _ _ _ ) ly

L ( _ _ _ ) litude

 

TODAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD FOR SOLVING TUESDAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY! GREAT  JOB KIM! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orghttp://myinvitepay.com/?ref=225785

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