Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, April 30, 2015.    

Here are some more of the of the best funny thoughts……

We all can’t be heroes. Somebody has to sit on the sides and clap as they go by.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Welcome what you can’t avoid.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.

What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expect generally happens.

When I am sad, I sing, and then the world is sad with me.

When blondes have more fun, do they know it?

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

When in doubt empty the magazine.

When in doubt, do what the President does. Guess.

When in doubt, poke it with a stick.

When it’s dark enough you can see the stars.

When someone points skyward, it’s the fool that looks at the finger.

When the pin is pulled, Mr. grenade is not our friend.

When vultures fly, are they allowed carrion luggage?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!

Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“A U.N. study claims the happiest country in the world is Switzerland. When asked why they’re so happy, Swiss people couldn’t answer because their hands were counting money and their mouths were full of chocolate.” -Conan O’Brien

“A new survey has found that people in Ireland tell an average of four white lies per day. And three of them are, ‘I’m fine to drive home.'” -Seth Meyers

“A rare and beautiful thing was seen today – a quadruple rainbow. That’s four rainbows. They were seen by all seven of the people who looked up from their phones today.” -Jimmy Kimmel 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

While I was serving as a chief master sergeant at Barksdale Air Force Base in Bossier City, La., my son and namesake was also serving there. His two month old son, whose name was the same as ours, was receiving medical treatments at the base hospital.  I went on sick call one morning, and as the doctor reviewed my file, he looked at me in disbelief. “Are you Curtis E. Chaffin?” he asked. When I answered yes, he told me, “It says here that you turn blue when you cry.” 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Bubba’s got a girlfriend, Bubba’s got a girlfriend!’    

Answer: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2! Said by Leatherface’s twisted head-scratching brother while holding girl captive. 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘I’ve got something to say; it’s better to burn out than to fade away.’

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

A man left his house to go to work. When he got home he saw that his house had been broken into. The robbers had taken everything in his house except for 2 one hundred dollar bills that were in plain sight. 

Why weren’t the one hundred dollar bills taken?

ANSWER:  Because they were an electricity bill for one hundred dollars and a phone bill for one hundred dollars. 

 

Thursday’s  Quizzler is……….

Some anagrams are almost too good to be true. The letters in the capitalised words or phrases can be rearranged in delightful ways to fill the gaps!

e.g. Is my lovely _____ really a WOMAN HITLER?

Answer: mother-in-law

1. The _____ Church can be BEST IN PRAYER.

2. The school bully gave his victim NINE THUMPS as a _____.

3. Someone with BAD CREDIT can still manage to pay with a _____.

4. If you missed it last time, keep waiting, for _____ SHALL YET COME!

5. Perhaps because _____ could be a NICE SILKY WOMAN, a president fell for her!

 

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orghttp://myinvitepay.com/?ref=225785

  

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