Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, April 23, 2015.   

Neologism – Alternate Meanings for Common Words…
Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
Cantankerous(n), able to drive a tank.
Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavoured mouthwash.
Defenestration (n.), Uninstalling Windows 7 and then installing Linux.
Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Because I know because somebody out there is laughing! Have a great Thursday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“A Wisconsin woman recently got a high school diploma at the age of 103 and says she is now considering going to college. Friends are recommending a two-year college.” -Conan O’Brien

“Ben & Jerry’s is working with a beer company to develop a ‘salted caramel brownie brown ale’ that will be sold later this summer. It’ll mark the first time you’ll actually feel great after finishing a second pint of Ben & Jerry’s. ” -Jimmy Fallon

“Teenagers across the country have been participating in the Kylie Jenner Lips Challenge, in which they place a jar around their lips and suck in air in order to make their lips swell. While teenagers in China have been participating in something called ‘school.'” -Seth Meyers 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

A research team proceeded towards the apex of a natural geologic protuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement of a sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact size of which was unspecified.

One member of the team precipitously descended, sustaining severe damage to the upper cranial structure; subsequently the second member of the team performed a self-rotational translation oriented in the same direction taken by the first team member.

It will be a while before Jack and Jill head up that hill for a pail of water again.  

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  ‘Dead or alive, you are coming with me.’

Answer: Robocop! Great action film from the 80s. 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Good, bad, I’m the one with the gun.’ 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

 There are two groups of four-letter words used in the sentences below. The first missing words of each sentence are anagrams of each other, and the second missing words are also anagrams of each other. Can you find them?
 
1. The hunters set a ____ for the hare. How else were they to enjoy its succulent _____ ?
 
2. They all listened in ____ attention as their leader spoke and motivated them to work as a ____.
 
3. There will always be a small ____ of wildness in a cat, though it is considered to be a ____ animal today.
 
ANSWER: 1. The hunters set a TRAP for the hare. How else were they to enjoy its succulent MEAT ?
 
2. They all listened in RAPT attention as their leader spoke and motivated them to work as a TEAM.
 
3. There will always be a small PART of wildness in a cat, though it is considered to be a TAME animal today.
 
Group I – TRAP, RAPT, PART
Group II – MEAT, TEAM, TAME 
 

Thursday’s  Quizzler is……….

What is 3/7 chicken, 2/3 cat and 1/2 goat?
 
 
 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

  
 

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