Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

Whats-More-Demotivational-Than-This-17

WELCOME to Wednesday, April 22, 2015.     

Ten Paraprosdokian Examples….
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but they have to check when you say the paint is wet?
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Because I know because somebody out there is laughing! Have a wonderful Wednesday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.” 

–Eleanor Roosevelt 

“When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.” 

–Gracie Allen 

“The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.” 

–Mark Twain  

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

One day, an elderly woman was walking along the street, coming home from the supermarket. Her bag of groceries was especially heavy that day, and as she passed Nathan Hale’s Used Cars, she got an idea that she could drive herself to the store and save a lot of shoe leather, time and aching muscles. She walks into the car dealership and, as it just so happens, gets the owner himself. He asks her what kind of car she wants and she replies,  “Well, sonny, I can’t remember the name exactly, but it has something to do with hate or anger.”  The owner replies, “Well, let’s see… Oh yes, you want a Plymouth Fury! We have a couple on the lot. What color do you prefer?”  The lady has some trouble explaining the exact color to him, so she reaches into her shopping bag, takes out an ear of corn, strips down the shucks and says, “I want this color sonny.”  

To which Nathan replies, “Ma’am I’m sorry, but we don’t have any in this color. Could I show you a nice blue one?”  “No son, I want this color.”

“But ma’am, they didn’t make that color! Maybe a cherry red one would suit you?” says the owner, obviously worried about losing a sale.  By this time, the old lady gets mad, and starts throwing things at the owner, thereby chasing him out of the office and into the lot. One of the salesmen, coming into the office from the back door, notices the disruption and asks the secretary what the old woman was so upset about.

The secretary replies, “Apparently, Hale hath no Fury like the woman’s corn!”  

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Where did…where did you disappear to?’  ‘Missed me bad huh?’  

Answer: Runaway Bride! Julia Roberts asked Richard Gere this in ‘Runaway Bride’ after he disappeared for the day and she didn’t know where he’d been. To which he replied, ‘Missed me bad huh?’ 

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???   ‘Dead or alive, you are coming with me.’

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

Sam is talking to his lawyer in jail. They are very upset because the judge has refused to grant bail. 
At the end of the conversation Sam is allowed to leave the jail. Why?
 
ANSWER: Sam is visiting his lawyer, who had been arrested and jailed.  
 

Wednesday’s  Quizzler is……….

There are two groups of four-letter words used in the sentences below. The first missing words of each sentence are anagrams of each other, and the second missing words are also anagrams of each other. Can you find them?
 
1. The hunters set a ____ for the hare. How else were they to enjoy its succulent _____ ?
 
2. They all listened in ____ attention as their leader spoke and motivated them to work as a ____.
 
3. There will always be a small ____ of wildness in a cat, though it is considered to be a ____ animal today.
 
 
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD FOR SOLVING TUESDAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY! NICE WORK KIM! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

  
 

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