WELCOME to Tuesday, April 21, 2015.
- There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger.
- Have you noticed that there is neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
- A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
- And there are no hogs in Hogmanay.
- And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
- You cannot buy boots in Boots nor virgins in Virgin. You cannot buy threshers in Threshers and the Superdrug chain is a big disappointment.
- Quicksand only works slowly
- If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?
- One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
- If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
- If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
- A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
QUOTES OF THE DAY
After examining a woman the doctor took the husband aside, and said, “I don’t like the looks of your wife at all.” “Me neither doc,” said the husband, “but she’s a great cook and really good with the kids.
“I wonder who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what on EARTH did he think he was doing?” -Billy Connolly
“When we got married we registered at Bloomingdale’s because you can return everything for cash. And I figure each place setting can keep me in beer money for about a month.” –Gary Barkin
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Standing on the tee of a long par three, a confident golfer said to his caddy, “Looks like a four-wood and a putt to me.” The caddy suggested that he instead play it safe and hit a 4-iron, then a wedge, THEN a putt. The golfer was insulted and berates the caddy telling him that he was a better golfer than that and how dare he underestimate his game! Apologizing the caddy handed the gentleman the four-wood he had asked for. He then proceeded to top the ball and watched as it rolled about fifteen yards off the front of the tee. Immediately the caddy handed him his putter and said, “And now for one hell of a putt…”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Is this not America!? Is baseball not America’s favorite pastime!?’
Answer: For Love Of The Game’! This was said by Kelly Preston in ‘For Love Of The Game’ after Kevin Costner cut his arm, needed medical attention and no doctor would help him.
Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Where did…where did you disappear to?’ ‘Missed me bad huh?’
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….