Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, April 21, 2015.    

English Words with Quirky Logic

  • There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger.
  • Have you noticed that there is neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
  • A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
  • And there are no hogs in Hogmanay.
  • And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
  • You cannot buy boots in Boots nor virgins in Virgin. You cannot buy threshers in Threshers and the Superdrug chain is a big disappointment.
  • Quicksand only works slowly
  • If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?
  • One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?
  • If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
  • If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
  • A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Because I know because somebody out there is laughing! Have a great Tuesday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

After examining a woman the doctor took the husband aside, and said, “I don’t like the looks of your wife at all.”  “Me neither doc,” said the husband, “but she’s a great cook and really good with the kids.

“I wonder who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what on EARTH did he think he was doing?” -Billy Connolly

“When we got married we registered at Bloomingdale’s because you can return everything for cash. And I figure each place setting can keep me in beer money for about a month.” –Gary Barkin 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

 Standing on the tee of a long par three, a confident golfer said to his caddy, “Looks like a four-wood and a putt to me.” The caddy suggested that he instead play it safe and hit a 4-iron, then a wedge, THEN a putt.  The golfer was insulted and berates the caddy telling him that he was a better golfer than that and how dare he underestimate his game!  Apologizing the caddy handed the gentleman the four-wood he had asked for.  He then proceeded to top the ball and watched as it rolled about fifteen yards off the front of the tee.  Immediately the caddy handed him his putter and said, “And now for one hell of a putt…”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  ‘Is this not America!? Is baseball not America’s favorite pastime!?’ 

Answer: For Love Of The Game’! This was said by Kelly Preston in ‘For Love Of The Game’ after Kevin Costner cut his arm, needed medical attention and no doctor would help him.

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  ‘Where did…where did you disappear to?’  ‘Missed me bad huh?’

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Heavenly body
Answer: The words are Start and Star.
 
1. Attract or please through personality -> To burn; scorch
2. Giving out moderate heat -> Conflict between nations
3. Kingdom; domain -> True; genuine
4. Solid, hard; fixed in place -> Type of evergreen tree
5. Remove from the surface; glide on a surface -> Narrow runner for gliding on snow
6. Line formed by sewing two pieces together -> Large body of salt water
7. Sew the edge of a cloth -> Male person
8. Agriculture site -> At a great distance 
 
ANSWER:  1. Charm -> Char  2. Warm -> War  3. Realm -> Real  4. Firm -> Fir  5. Skim -> Ski  6. Seam -> Sea
7. Hem -> He  8. Farm -> Far 
 

Tuesday’s  Quizzler is……….

Sam is talking to his lawyer in jail. They are very upset because the judge has refused to grant bail. 
At the end of the conversation Sam is allowed to leave the jail. Why?
 
 
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS FOR SOLVING MONDAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY! NICE WORK BANKS! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

  
 

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