Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday, April 13, 2015.    

Miscellaneous terms…..
ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually ME-deep in conversation.
GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.
HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MYTH: A female moth.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! I know because somewhere, somebody is laughing!  Have a great Monday people and whatever
you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

When he was asked about Hillary’s candidacy, Obama said, “If she’s her wonderful self, I’m sure she’ll do great.” He added, “If she’s her other self, watch out.” Jimmy Fallon.

A group called Draft Biden 2016 has started selling bumper stickers that say “I’m ridin’ with Biden.” It’s a lot better than the other one that women around the White House have started using — “I’m hidin’ from Biden.” Jimmy Fallon.

A man can be destroyed but not defeated. Ernest Hemingway

Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.  Jane Austen

Work on the accent, it will enliven the whole.  Pierre Bonnard

If the stars should appear but one night every thousand years how man would marvel and stare. Ralph Waldo Emerson

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around. Thomas A. Edison

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

Two young men were out in the woods on a camping trip, when the came upon this great trout brook. They stayed there all day, enjoying the fishing, which was super.  At the end of the day, knowing that they would be graduating from college soon, they vowed that they would meet, in twenty years, at the same place and renew the experience.  Twenty years later, they met and traveled to a spot near where they had been years before. They walked into the woods and before long came upon a brook. One of the men said to the other, “This is the place!”.

The other replied, “No, it’s not!”.

The first man said, “Yes, I do recognize the clover growing on the bank on the other side.

To which the other man replied, “Silly, you can’t tell a brook by it’s clover.”

 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘I guarantee that we’ll have tough times, and I guarantee that at some point one or both of us will want to get out, but I also guarantee that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life, because I know, in my heart, you’re the only one for me.’

Answer:  ‘Runaway Bride’! Richard Gere said this in ‘Runaway Bride’ first, then towards the end Julia Roberts says it 

back to him and wins his heart.

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Well hell, son, I do believe he’s harassing you already.’

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic
Answer: The words are Start and Tart.
 
1. Firm earth -> Circular
2. Tomb; serious -> Talk wildly or madly
3. Dead spirit -> Person who entertains guests
4. Spectacles -> Young maidens
5. Happy, joyous -> Youth; boy
6. Precious metal -> Advanced in years
7. Increase in size -> Move a boat with oars
8. Large boat with oars -> Narrow back street
 
ANSWER:  1. Ground -> Round  2. Grave -> Rave  3. Ghost -> Host  4. Glasses -> Lasses   5. Glad -> Lad  6. Gold -> Old

7. Grow -> Row  8. Galley -> Alley

Monday’s  Quizzler is……….

 
What 5 chemical elements make chocolate?
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS, MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! NICE SOLVING JOB BANKS! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji 
 
 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

  
 

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