Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏


WELCOME to Thursday, April 9, 2015.    

What is the speed of dark?
If there were no sponges living in the oceans, would the oceans be deeper?
How can there be an all natural boneless chicken breast?
If ‘con’ is the opposite of ‘pro’, then is congress the opposite of progress?
What do little birdies see when they get conked on the head?
Whose cruel idea was it to put an ‘s’ in the word ‘lisp’?
Do radioactive cats have 18 half lives?
Is there another word for synonym?
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
Where do forest rangers go to “get away from it all?”
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
How come, at a wedding, the bride doesn’t marry the best man?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
If the Cincinnati Reds were the first major league baseball team, who did they play?
Do burn victims get a discount at crematoriums?
Are part-time band leaders called semi-conductors?
Why is it that night falls, but day breaks?
Can you buy an entire chess set at a pawn shop?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If you ate pasta and antipasti during the same meal, would you still be hungry?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! I know because somewhere, somebody is laughing!  Have a great Thursday people and whatever
you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!


“In some good-luck news, a man coming out of surgery has won $7 million on a lottery ticket that was tucked in his get-well card. And after paying his hospital bills, he still has $900 left.” -Seth Meyers

“Jeb Bush is facing criticism after it was just revealed that he checked off his race as ‘Hispanic’ on a voter registration form back in 2009. When asked if he regrets it now, Bush said, ‘Si.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“March Madness is coming to an end. On Saturday after losing to Wisconsin, Kentucky fans went into the street and started burning things. Meanwhile, Wisconsin fans went out and starting frying things and covering them with cheese.” -Conan O’Brien 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending so much of his free time in the local bar, so one night he took her along with him. “What’ll you have?” he asked.  “Oh, I don’t know. The same as you I suppose,” she replied. So, the husband ordered a couple of whiskeys and threw his down in one shot.  His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spit it out. “Yuck, that’s TERRIBLE!” she spluttered. “I don’t know how you can drink this stuff!”  “Well, there you go,” cried the husband. “And you think I’m out enjoying myself every night!”  


Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  ‘You had a sleep over didn’t you?’  

Answer: ‘Pay It Forward’ Haley Joel Osment said this to Kevin Spacey when he saw him coming out of his mother’s bedroom early in the morning. 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  ‘What are you talking to me for, she’s the one with the gun.’

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Each sentence below contains a word that can be anagrammed to answer or describe the sentence. 
Example: Craft that might tip in the ocean. Answer: Canoe (Anagram of ocean)
1. You cover a mattress with one of these
2. Dangerous thing for an alcoholic to begin
3. Feature on which a tire might be rated
4. Feeling about a poisonous adder
5. Weapon that a cavalryman bears
6. It doesn’t necessarily bring rain, but it could
ANSWER: 1. Sheet  2. Binge  3. Tread  4. Dread  5. Sabre or Saber  6. Cloud 

Thursday’s  Quizzler is……….

You are an expert on paranormal activity and have been hired to locate a spirit haunting an old resort hotel. Strong signs indicate that the spirit lies behind one of four doors. The inscriptions on each door read as follows:
Door A: It’s behind B or C
Door B: It’s behind A or D
Door C: It’s in here
Door D: It’s not in here
Your psychic powers have told you three of the inscriptions are false, and one is true. Behind which door will you find the spirit?
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at  



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