The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows. And a foundation leaks and a ball game gets rained out and a car rusts and…
If you don’t like my driving, don’t call anyone. Just take another road. That’s why the highway department made so many of them.
When I’m feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor’s dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.
Try a little kindness. As little as possible. Into every life some rain must fall. Usually when your car windows are down.
I love playing cards with children. They can’t tell you’re dealing off the bottom of the deck.
Remember: you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar… Of course, how you spend your leisure time is your business.
A man’s best friend is his dog. That’s assuming you want a friend who messes on your carpet and drools on your newspaper.
If I won the lottery, I wouldn’t be one of those people who immediately quit their jobs. I’d make my boss’s life a living hell for a week or two first.
A rose by any other name would stick you just as bad and draw just as much blood when you grab a thorn.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever
you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“I have witnessed the softening of the hardest of hearts by a simple smile.” –Goldie Hawn
“Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.” –Napoleon Bonaparte
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” –George Burns
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
There was this nun named Sister Mary who, though she tried and tried, could never please the Mother Superior. One day she comes up with an idea: since the abbey was always cold, she decided to cut some wood and build a fire in the fireplace to heat the place up. She spent all day chopping, hauling and stacking wood. Subsequently, she wound up shredding the sleeves of her habit.
Later that night, as the other nuns came into the rectory, they were delighted to find the place warm and cozy, with a big fire roaring in the fireplace. Then Mother Superior comes in and yells, “Sister Mary! Go fix your torn habit this instant!”
Sister Mary, crying, asks, “But Mother Superior, aren’t you happy that the abbey is warm?” To which the Mother Superior replies, “Yes, but when you ax, then ye shall re-sleeve.”
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Can we panic now?”
Answer: Chamber of Secrets! Ron is very afraid of spiders. I can’t blame him, and being in the Forbidden Forest at night surrounded by huge, man-eating spiders was just too much for him. Harry was telling him not to panic and Ron looked up and saw the hundreds of spiders. Luckily, his car saved him and Harry.
Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Yo yo, you, yo.”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Oxy the Moron set out into the world and learned a big word, OXYMORON!!! After searching about this new word for a some time, he came up with a teaser made especially for you!
Can you figure out which well known oxymorons these words are?
Ex) Initial facsimile = original copy
1) solitary option
2) approximately precise
3) trivial calamity
4) accurate approximation
5) authentic duplication
ANSWER: 1) only choice 2) almost exactly 3) minor crisis 4) exact estimate 5) genuine imitation
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
I constantly collide into all the others,
The only one of 16 without colors.
Associated with English and banking and breaking,
The answer is right there for the taking.
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS, MS. ANDREA L. BANKS. GREAT SOLVING WORK BANKS!
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/