The dictionary definition of oxymoron is:- A rhetorical figure of speech in which contradictory terms are paired,
for example, alone together, current history or boneless ribs. However, with an oxymoron the incongruous word
pairing conveys a truth or a dramatic result.
A stripper’s dressing room
Click the start button, and shut down
First strike defence
Former President-for-life (Haiti)
Alone in a crowd
Xenophobic Foreign Secretary (Xenophobic = hates strangers)
Personalized form letter
I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous!
Always remember you’re unique…just like everyone else!
An oral contract isn’t worth the paper its written on
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and whatever
you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
You must do the things you think you cannot do. Eleanor Roosevelt
Love is all we have, the only way that each can help the other.Euripides
I don’t like to sell my finest pieces. Beatrice Wood
Nature has always had more force than education. Voltaire
If you ask me anything I don’t know, I’m not going to answer. Yogi Berra
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Harvey’s grandfather clock suddenly stops working right one day, so he loads it into his van and takes it to a clock repair shop.
In the shop is a little old man who insists he is Swiss, and has a heavy German accent. He asks Harvey, “Vat sims to be ze problem?”
Harvey says, “I’m not sure, but it doesn’t go ‘tick-tocktick -tock’ anymore. Now it just goes ‘tick…tick…tick.'” The old man says, “Mmm-Hm!” and steps behind the counter, where he rummages around a bit. He emerges with a huge flashlight and walks over the grandfather clock. He turns the flashlight on, and shines it directly into the clocks face. Then he says in a menacing voice, “Ve haf vays of making you tock!”
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Put the bunny back in the box.”
Answer: Con Air! He warned Billy “Bedlam” to put his little girl’s birthday gift back in the box, but Billy threw it down. Big mistake, poor Billy didn’t make it off the plane. Nick, who played Cameron Poe, lunged at Billy and eventually impaled him on a pipe.
Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I’m back!”
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Mr. Ixolite was in Mexico on his holidays and was looking to try the hottest chili he could find.
He went into a restaurant and ordered a hot one. After the fire in his mouth had been put out, and he sat there gasping for breath, the waiter came up to him and said,
“Excuse me, Senor Ixolite, we are very sorry, but we accidentally gave you the wrong chili. We gave you the mild one instead of this very hot one. Would you like it?”
MrIxolite paled, but being unable to speak, grabbed a napkin and wrote out the following rebus:
Hose B) Way
Hose C) Way
What was Mr. Ixolite trying to say?
ANSWER: NO WAY JOSE! (No Way at Hose A)
Using the grid below, how many words can you find? Each word must contain the central V and no letter can be used twice, however, the letters do not have to be connected. Proper nouns are not allowed, however, plurals are. There is at least one nine letter word.
O E R
D V B
R A O
Genius: 28 words. Excellent: 20 words. Good: 16 words. Average: 12 words.
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT 4 WEEKS IN A ROW GENIUS MS. ANDREA L. BANKS.
SUPER SOLVING WORK BANKS!
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/