Here’s the Story….
Roger left for work on Friday morning. Friday was payday, so instead of going home, he stayed out the
entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire pay packet.
Finally, Roger appeared at home on Sunday night, and obviously he was confronted by his angry wife,
Martha who castigated Roger for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally, Martha stopped
the nagging and said to Roger, ‘How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?’
Roger replied grimly, ‘That would be fine with me.’
Monday went by and he didn’t see his Martha. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.
By the Thursday, the swelling had gone down just enough so that Roger he could see Martha a little out of the corner of his left eye
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever
you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“During his weekly address to the nation, President Obama discussed higher education and said, ‘The most important skill you can sell is your knowledge.’ Or as English majors working at Starbucks put it, ‘No it’s not.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“Yesterday was the L.A. Marathon. It’s the only time of year you see someone running in the streets of Los Angeles when it’s not the end of a car chase.” -Conan O’Brien
“March Madness is upon us. That’s the big tournament where you start out with 64 teams and in only three weeks you’re down to no girlfriend.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
While I was shopping in the mall with my three children, a display in the window of a lingerie store caught my eye. “Do you think Daddy would like this?” I asked the kids, as I pointed to the lacy pajamas with matching robe.
“No way,” my horrified six-year-old son replied. “Daddy would NEVER wear that!”
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “I am not leaving my friend Jimmy…unless he looks at me like that. Bye!”
Answer: Treasure Planet! Martin Short did the voice for B.E.N. the robot who says this to Jim as he’s trying to start up a ship to escape Treasure Planet, which is self-destructing.
Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Put the bunny back in the box.”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic
Answer: The words are Start and Tart.
1. A trip through the air -> Illumination; not heavy
2. Travelling through the air -> Not telling the truth
3. True statement -> Part of a play; something done
4. Straightforward; blunt -> Position in a hierarchy
5. Cord for igniting an explosive -> To employ; exploit
6. An example of a number -> Belonging to us
7. To put in as much as possible -> Unwell; sick
8. High body temperature -> At any time; at all times
ANSWER: 1. Flight -> Light 2. Flying -> Lying 3. Fact -> Act 4. Frank -> Rank 5. Fuse -> Use
6. Four -> Our 7. Fill -> Ill 8. Fever -> Ever
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Mr. Ixolite was in Mexico on his holidays and was looking to try the hottest chili he could find.
He went into a restaurant and ordered a hot one. After the fire in his mouth had been put out, and he sat there gasping for breath, the waiter came up to him and said,
“Excuse me, Senor Ixolite, we are very sorry, but we accidentally gave you the wrong chili. We gave you the mild one instead of this very hot one. Would you like it?”
MrIxolite paled, but being unable to speak, grabbed a napkin and wrote out the following rebus:
Hose B) Way
Hose C) Way
What was Mr. Ixolite trying to say?
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT 3 WEEKS IN A ROW GENIUS MS. ANDREA L. BANKS.
SUPER SOLVING WORK BANKS!
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/