WELCOME to Wednesday, March 18, 2015.
Steve Wright Ponderings….
I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen…and replaced by exact duplicates.
Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back.
Half the people you know are below average.
How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
My mechanic told me, ‘I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for his ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn’t everyone just move 10 miles away?
And whose cruel idea was it for the word ‘Lisp’ to have a ‘S’ in it?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever
you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Such is the irresistible nature of truth that all it asks, and all it wants, is the liberty of appearing.” –Thomas Paine
“The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.” –Will Rogers
“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.” –Plato
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, ‘Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?’ The first man approached him and said, ‘Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?’ The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied…….. ‘My wife’s first husband.’
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “I don’t wanna die. I’ve never even been kissed. I’ve waited my whole life to be kissed, and what if I miss it?”
Answer: Little Women! Said by Amy March in the 1994 version of “Little Women”. She was very upset that Beth was sick so Laurie promised to kiss her before she died.
Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I am not leaving my friend Jimmy…unless he looks at me like that. Bye!”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
What’s the rebus, here:
J, ____ & Titanic
ANSWER: Hook, line and sinker.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
When you behead a word, you remove the first letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Sour, acidic
Answer: The words are Start and Tart.
1. A trip through the air -> Illumination; not heavy
2. Travelling through the air -> Not telling the truth
3. True statement -> Part of a play; something done
4. Straightforward; blunt -> Position in a hierarchy
5. Cord for igniting an explosive -> To employ; exploit
6. An example of a number -> Belonging to us
7. To put in as much as possible -> Unwell; sick
8. High body temperature -> At any time; at all times
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT 3 WEEKS IN A ROW GENIUS MS. ANDREA L. BANKS.SUPER SOLVING WORK BANKS!
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/