I have just been offered a job as a clown.
My boss told me the other guy was good.
Seems to me I’ll have some big shoes to fill.
I was looking through the employment section of the paper today and saw a vacancy for an acrobat.
I thought, perfect, I could do that standing on my head…
Before my father died he worked in a circus as a stilt walker…
I used to look up to him…
I was knocked over by a clown car!
Luckily, 17 people got out to help.
The knife shallower finally solved his cholesterol problem.
He stopped swallowing butter knives!
A man decides to join the circus. The ringmaster agrees to watch his act in the big top to see if he is suitable. The man climbs a tall tower and jumps off flapping his arms wildly. After a few seconds his fall slows and he soars forward, swoops up, turns and stops in mid air then gently glides to the ground. He turns and smiles at the ringmaster. ‘What do you think?’ asks the man. The ringmaster looks unimpressed. ‘Is that all you can do? Bird imitations?’
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever
you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be suspected of doing everything for money.” -Benjamin Franklin
“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” -Napoleon Bonaparte
“Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open.” -John Barrymore
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Some of my friends started a company built around an innovative idea for an online business. A debate broke out about what to name the venture. “We have to call it Imagination,” one passionate participant cried out. Everyone thought the idea over for a minute, and then a voice of reason replied, “Are you sure you want your business card to read ‘Imagination, Limited’?”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Bring me Wallace. Alive if possible, dead…just as good.”
Answer: Braveheart! Great line spoken by Edward the Longshanks to his men.
Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I don’t wanna die. I’ve never even been kissed. I’ve waited my whole life to be kissed, and what if I miss it?”
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Van Gogh (pronounced “Go”) is back, with more of his relatives.
e.g. One of them was a well-known musical cousin from Liverpool, England. His name? Ring Gogh! (Ringo)
From the clues, can you guess the other names?
1. An elderly uncle who plays the numbers game at his community hall.
2. His young nephew who bounces everywhere.
3. A long-lost brother who had been on his yacht exploring a group of islands in the Pacific.
4. An aunt, famous for her milk pudding recipe.
5. His cousin with the skin infection.
6. The teenage niece who wears dark, trendy shades of blue and purple.
7. His Great Uncle Emil, the famous lecturer on self-esteem.
The hint gives the first letter, and number of letters, for each word.
ANSWER: 1. Bing Gogh (Bingo) 2. Poe-Gogh (Pogo) 3. Archie Pele-Gogh (Archipelago) 4. Sae Gogh (Sago)
5. Impa Tai-Gogh (Impetigo) 6. Indy Gogh (Indigo) 7. Prof. E Gogh (Ego)
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
What’s the rebus, here:
J, ____ & Titanic
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT 3 WEEKS IN A ROW WINNER MS. ANDREA L. BANKS.SUPER SOLVING WORK BANKS!
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/