Daffynitions for the day……
1 ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
2. BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where some women go to dye.
3. CHICKENS: Animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. Really….
4. COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
5. DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
6. GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.
7. INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
8. MOSQUITO: An insect that makes flies look good after all.
9. SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
10. TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
11. TOMORROW: One of today’s greatest labor saving devices.
12. YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever
you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.”
“The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.”
“I have never been hurt by anything I didn’t say.”
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
The maharajah of an Indian Province issued a royal decree. He ordered that no one was to kill any wild animals while he was the country’s leader. The decree was honored until there were so many Bengal Tigers running loose that the people revolted and threw the maharajah from power. This is the first known instance of the reign being called on account of the game.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Don’t hurt. That’s what you wanna know. And how it’s been, doing OK?”
Answer: The Deer Hunter! Said by Michael in “The Deer Hunter” in response to Stan’s question on what it’s like to be shot.
Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Heavenly body
Answer: The words are Start and Star.
1. Bend out of shape -> Armed conflict
2. Muscle contraction -> Pack to capacity
3. Pass over; omit -> Glide on snow
4. Wet -> Large water barrier
5. Marsh; bog -> Moved through water
6. Waterproof canvas -> Pitch; oily residue
7. Cry; shed tears -> Very small
8. Assume a slouching posture; decrease suddenly -> Run-down part of a city
ANSWER: 1. Warp -> War 2. Cramp -> Cram 3. Skip -> Ski 4. Damp -> Dam 5. Swamp -> Swam
6. Tarp -> Tar 7. Weep -> Wee 8. Slump -> Slum
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Read the sentence below and determine what the four uppercase words have in common.
As you put down your bowl of STEW and take your SEAT, you let out a SHOUT and leap back up; you sat on a THORN!
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE WEEK AWARD FOR TODAY GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT JOB BANKS!
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/