Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏


WELCOME to Tuesday, March 3, 2015.    

Tips to improve your writing
1. Who needs rhetorical questions?
2. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
3. Don’t never use a double negation.
4. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point
5. Do not put statements in the negative form.
6. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
7. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
8. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
9. A writer must not shift your point of view.
10. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)
11. Don’t overuse exclamation marks!!
12. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to the irantecedents.
13. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
14. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
15. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
16. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
17. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
18. Always pick on the correct idiom.
19. The adverb always follows the verb.
20. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; They’re old hat; seek viable alternatives.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever
you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!



“Congress is considering a law that would allow commuters to bring their dogs and cats on Amtrak trains. It’s all part of their plan to make Amtrak smell better.” -Jimmy Fallon

“The Kardashian family has signed a deal keeping them on the air for four more years and paying them $100 million. So let that be a lesson. If you really work hard and apply yourself, you are wasting your time.” -Seth Meyers

“Police in Florida are searching for someone who stole 360,000 nickels during a house party. Police believe the suspect is almost to the end of the street.” -Seth Meyers 


G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

Mr. Smith was a traveling salesman and frequent flyer, so he was always very, VERY careful to mark his luggage so that no one would mistakenly take his bags. He always did this with bright ribbons and tape, so he was quite surprised to see his bags grabbed by a well dressed man when he got to the luggage carousel.

Mr. Smith walked over to the fellow and pointed out the colored ribbons tied to the handle, and the fluorescent tape on the sides.

“I believe that luggage is mine. Were your bags marked like this?” he asked.

“Actually,” the man replied, “I was wondering who did this to my luggage.” 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “I am a vulgar man! But I assure you, my music is not.”  

Answer: Amadeus! Said by Mozart after the royal entourage was attempting to 

keep “The Marriage of Figaro” from being performed. 

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Don’t hurt. That’s what you wanna know. And how it’s been, doing OK?”

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

This is a phrase some people can say every day.
The thing you see with + The 12th letter of the alphabet + A white pigeon – The 4th letter of the alphabet + A female sheep + A word meaning $1,000 + A thing used to clean floors – The 16th letter of the alphabet.
What is this phrase?  ANSWER:  I love you Grandma.

Explanation: The thing you see with = EYE (pronounced “I”)

+ The 12th letter of the alphabet = L

+ A white pigeon = Dove

– The 4th letter of the alphabet = D

+ A female sheep = EWE (pronounced You)

+ A word meaning $1,000 = Grand

+ A thing used to clean floors = Mop ( the o has a short vowel sounding like “ah”)

– The 16th letter of the alphabet = P

Eye (I) + L + Dove-D (ove) + EWE (You) + Grand + Mop-P (pronounced Ma)

I + L + ove + You + Grand + Ma = I Love You Grandma

Tuesday’s  Quizzler is……….

When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Heavenly body
Answer: The words are Start and Star.
1. Bend out of shape -> Armed conflict
2. Muscle contraction -> Pack to capacity
3. Pass over; omit -> Glide on snow
4. Wet -> Large water barrier
5. Marsh; bog -> Moved through water
6. Waterproof canvas -> Pitch; oily residue
7. Cry; shed tears -> Very small
8. Assume a slouching posture; decrease suddenly -> Run-down part of a city
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 



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