Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, February 26, 2015.  

Thoughts to Make You Smile…….
If a man is in a forest talking to himself with no women around, is he still wrong?
Man’s commonest fault is not knowing what he doesn’t know.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it. – Mark Twain
The cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.
Everyone should have a spouse, because there are a number of things that go wrong that one can’t blame on the government.
Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.
One of the life’s mysteries is how a two pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds.
You know you’re into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Thursday people and whatever
you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
 

QUOTES OF THE DAY

“The highway cop said, ‘Walk a straight line.’ I said, ‘Well, Officer Pythagoras, the closest you could ever come to a straight line would be making an electrocephalogram of your brain waves.’ He said, ‘You’re under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Do you wish to retain that right?’ And I thought, ‘Oooh, a paradox!'” –Emo Philips

A donkey had an IQ of 186. He had no friends at all though. Because even in the animal kingdom, nobody likes a smart-ass.

In the frozen foods department of our local grocery store, I noticed a man shopping with his son. As I walked by, he checked something off his list, and I heard him whisper conspiratorially to the child, “You know, if we really mess this up, we’ll never have to do it again.” 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

Brandon, my grandson was working at a pet store that offered free replacement fish to any that die. A lady called and stated that her hamster had died. The salesperson who answered the phone misunderstood her, thinking it was a fish, told her to place it in a plastic bag with water and return it so it could be replaced. The lady followed instructions to a “T” and brought her dead hamster in a bag of water and handed to my grandson and said “my hamster died.” Laughing he replied “Was that before or after you placed it in the bag of water?” 

He was fired for not showing sympathy to a customer!  

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. My name.”

Answer: Charlotte Gray! It’s the last line of the movie and said by Charlotte to Julien when 

she goes back to France to find him.   

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “In my home! In my bedroom where my wife sleeps! Where my children come and play with their toys. In my home.”

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

They turn themselves over to me

Completely voluntarily

Knowing before they’ve departed

They’ll end up near where they started

I may be called emotional

Loopy, perhaps commotional

For those brave souls who seek a thrill

I’m sure to nicely fit the bill

By a force of nature propelled

I’m courage-testing those compelled

Greeted with anxiousness and fret

Seldom exited with regret

What am I? 

ANSWER: A roller coaster.

lines 1-2: People who wish to ride a roller coaster do so voluntarily.

lines 3-4: The loading area and where the ride ends for roller coasters are typically not far apart.

lines 5-6: Line 5 alludes to the phrase “emotional roller coaster”. In line 6, “Loopy” is a reference to the fact that many roller coasters have loops.

lines 7-8: Most people find a roller coaster ride exhilarating and/or thrilling.

lines 9-10: A roller coaster is powered by the force of gravity. It might be considered as a test of courage to see if one is brave enough to take a ride on a roller coaster. Some may find this challenge enticing.

lines 11-12: Before the roller-coaster ride, there is often some degree of anxiousness or uneasiness. But afterwards, the rider usually feels positive about the experience, and quite possibly would want to go again for another ride. 

Thursday’s  Quizzler is……….

Jon and Bob were betting on a baseball game and Bob lost. To get back at him he bets Jon.

Bob says, “I bet you I can do two to three thousand push-ups in 10 minutes.” 

Jon says, “Fine, let’s see it. You couldn’t possibly win that bet.” 

Bob won the bet. How is that possible?

 
  
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT JOB BANKS! 
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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

 

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