Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, February 24, 2015.    

Here’s the Story…… 
There once was a young man who lived on a farm. He wanted to get off the farm though, and dreamed of higher education as an escape from his surroundings. He was very industrious and saved every penny. Finally, he had saved enough to pay for tuition, and moved to the city to attend classes.
He decided to attend cooking school, and become a chef. He was quite adept at cooking as it turned out. Everyone at the school learned of his prowess, and made a point to taste his recipes whenever they had the chance. His real forte was as a dessert chef. He could turn out miracles with powdered sugar and fruit glazes. Charming the faculty with his skill, he graduated summa cum laude. Upon graduation, he was immediately snapped up by the fanciest gourmet restaurant in the city for their top dessert chef. He was instantly successful and his name became a household word, synonymous with the finest desserts available.
Eventually, the chef decided to give back to the community, and opened a cooking school of his own. This school would be intended as the premier dessert institute of all times. New and exciting ideas would be developed at the school. He decided in particular he would like to explore the use of caramel in dessertmaking. Also, he really wanted to push the envelope on what could be used in a dessert. However, it seemed he bit off more than than he could chew (no, this is not the pun). The chef’s ego had grown with his reputation, and he had let his success get to his head. Prideful and arrogant, he believed his critics to be peasants without taste, and kept making desserts like caramel-covered prime rib, mustard flavored caramels, caramel-filled okra, and tuna caramel casserole. Once his adoring fans, his audience now deserted him (that’s not the pun either). But his pride would not let him back down, and he railed against his critics as he kept teaching students to make atrocities against the palate and caramel in general. Finally, when the chef produced his caramel-injected haggis, the city had had enough. They petitioned the city to revoke his business license for his institute. The city administrators did them one better however, and cited the chef with disturbing the peace. The charge?
(This is the pun, by the way. Just thought you should know.)
“For an awful caramel college.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever
you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
 

QUOTES OF THE DAY

“Kids? It’s like living with homeless people. They’re cute but they just chase you around all day long going, ‘Can I have a dollar? I’m missing a shoe! I need a ride!'” –Kathleen Madigan

“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.” -Douglas Adams

“When you’re a parent you’re a prisoner of war. You can’t go anywhere without paying someone to come and look after your kids. In the old days, babysitters were paid about 50 cents an hour, and they’d steam clean the carpet and detail your car. Now they’ve got their own union. I couldn’t afford it, so I asked my mother to come over. The sitters called her a scab and beat her up on the front lawn.” -Robert G. Lee 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

I returned to my parents’ home to attend a funeral. At the temple, my mother led me to a man who looked vaguely familiar. “Barbara, remember Rabbi Green?” she asked as she left me in his company.

I frantically tried to place him, and suddenly it came to me. He was the kind man who, five years earlier, had officiated at my grandmother’s funeral. “It’s good to see you again, Rabbi,” I said. “Though I wish it weren’t always under such tragic circumstances.”

The rabbi looked perplexed but uttered some words of consolation before he was called away. A few minutes later, I rejoined my mother. 

“Imagine,” she whispered, “after all this time, to run into the rabbi who performed your wedding!” 

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘You know what the Queen said? I had balls, I’d be a King.’

Answer: Mean Streets! Said by Charlie.  

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  ‘I’ve got a weird thing for girls who say ‘aboot’.’

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

Five siblings are they, their color is true;

One belongs to one, four are shared by two.

Connected together, some by locks;

Many meet their fate upon the rocks.

Arrange their initials, and you should

Find things that are found in a neighborhood.

What has just been described? 

ANSWER: The Great Lakes: Superior, Michigan, Huron, Erie, Ontario

There are five, lakes being blue (as in true blue). Lake Michigan belongs to the United States, the other lakes are shared by the United States and Canada. The lakes are part of a chain, with locks between some of them. Many shipwrecks occur by grounding on rocks in shallow water. The initials spell “homes”, which are found in neighborhoods.

Tuesday’s  Quizzler is……….

Below you will find uncommon titles to five award winning, or popular children’s books. How many can you decipher?

1. Where the Crimson Foliage Propagates.

2. Obscure Oasis

3. The Sunny Season of the Cygnus.

4. Feline in the Bonnet.

5. A Crumple in Chronology.

 
  
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT JOB BANKS! 
EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

 
 

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