Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, February 13, 2015.  

Crispy Copper Fries…….. 
2014 Darwin Award Nominee (Idiots at Large)
(19 May 2014, Arizona) The mummified remains of a man discovered in a Tucson manhole tell their own poignant story. In May the manhole was opened to investigate a fluctuation in electrical power. According to records kept by Tucson Electric Power the manhole had not been opened in the past five years, so the team that entered the underground high-voltage vault was quite surprised to find the desiccated remains of a man slumped near cut copper wires. In his shriveled hand was — can you guess? — a bolt cutter.
 
Crime pays so little, and costs so much. This nominee not only failed and fried but also, nobody noticed, making his death both stupid and sad. An autopsy confirmed the obvious conclusion that electrocution was the likely cause of death. The date of death was set at somewhere between one and two years previous to the discovery.
 
The mummy was carrying ID for a 51-year-old man, and DNA testing is underway to verify the identity of the crispy copper critter. My, my I’m sure “He was de-lighted.”  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Valentines weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
 

QUOTES OF THE DAY

Children nowadays are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannise their teachers. Socrates

Children really brighten up a household – they never turn the lights off. Ralph Bus

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Mark Twain

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion. Spike Milligan

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves. Brendan Behan

Dancing: the vertical expression of a horizontal desire. George Bernard Shaw

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m.

One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar.  The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, “This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri!”  “No, I’m sorry”, replied the bartender, “it’s a hickory daiquiri, doc.” 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Listen, here’s the thing. If you can’t spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.’

Answer: Rounders! The opening line of the movie. 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Purple in the morning, blue in the afternoon, and orange in the evening. Just like that, one two three four!’

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.

Example: Begin -> Heavenly body

Answer: The words are Start and Star.

1. Measuring stick -> Law

2. Prophet; visionary -> To perceive

3. Rip; pull apart -> Beverage

4. Topic; anything with mass and volume -> Not glossy; flat

5. Moon depression -> Large box

6. One who digs for ore -> Belonging to me

7. Police person -> Place of work

8. Vocalist -> Scorch; burn superficially 

 

ANSWER: 1. Ruler -> Rule  2. Seer -> See  3. Tear -> Tea  4. Matter -> Matte  5. Crater -> Crate

6. Miner -> Mine  7. Officer -> Office  8. Singer -> Singe 

Friday’s  Quizzler is……….

What is this?

Sticker Bum

Sticker Sticker Bum Bum

Sticker Sticker Sticker Bum Bum Bum

 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! NICE WORK BANKS! Emoji
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Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

 

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