Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

FrightenedEggs

WELCOME to Thursday, February 12, 2015.     

De-railed Careers…….
Accountants are discredited.
Holy people are disgraced.
Pastry chefs are deserted.
Perfume makers are dissented.
Butterfly collectors are debugged.
Students are degraded.
Electricians are refused.
Bodybuilders are rebuffed.
Underwear models are debriefed
Painters are discolored.
Spinsters are dismissed.
Judges are disappointed.
Vegas dealers are discarded.
Mathematicians are discounted.
Tree surgeons disembark.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Thursday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“Starbucks is going to start carrying coconut milk. If you want to stay competitive in the coffee business you’ve got to consistently provide your customers with new ways to make their orders more annoying.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“According to a recent survey, 12 percent of Americans say that it’s fine to cheat a little on your taxes. While the other 88 percent know not to talk to a guy with a clipboard asking them if they cheat on their taxes.” -Jimmy Fallon

“The inventor of the soy sauce dispenser bottle has passed away. He actually died months ago but was just found in the back of the fridge.” -Conan O’Brien 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

A guy from Czechslovakia was visiting his cousin the lawyer in California, and they went for a hike in Yellowstone Park.

While they were hiking they were attacked by 2 bears, one male and one female. The male bear dismembered and ate the Czechslovakian guy, but the lawyer managed to escape.

He ran straight to the nearest Rangers station, and told them what had happened, and they sent out a group of rangers to see what was going on.

Sure enough, the Rangers arrived at the place that the lawyer mentioned, and there were the female and the male bears. So one of the Rangers took his rifle and shot the female.

So the other Rangers asked “why did you shoot the female? he said that the male ate his friend” So the Ranger answers “Would you believe a lawyer if he told you that the Czech is in the male?”

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘In Sicily, women are more dangerous than shotguns.’ 

Answer: The Godfather! Said by Sonny Corleone. 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  ‘Listen, here’s the thing. If you can’t spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker.’

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Nothing is in it

But something is in it

Nobody is in it

But somebody is in it

If you have it

You and I are in it

What is it? 

ANSWER: Dictionary

Thursday’s  Quizzler is……….

When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.

Example: Begin -> Heavenly body

Answer: The words are Start and Star.

1. Measuring stick -> Law

2. Prophet; visionary -> To perceive

3. Rip; pull apart -> Beverage

4. Topic; anything with mass and volume -> Not glossy; flat

5. Moon depression -> Large box

6. One who digs for ore -> Belonging to me

7. Police person -> Place of work

8. Vocalist -> Scorch; burn superficially

 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

 

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