Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, January 27, 2015.    

Amazing Anagrams………..
 
Dormitory == Dirty Room 
 
Desperation == A Rope Ends It 
 
The Morse Code == Here Come Dots 
 
Slot Machines == Cash Lost in ’em 
 
Animosity == Is No Amity 
 
Snooze Alarms == Alas! No More Z’s 
 
Alec Guinness == Genuine Class 
 
Semolina == Is No Meal 
 
The Public Art Galleries == Large Picture Halls, I Bet 
 
A Decimal Point == I’m a Dot in Place 
 
The Earthquakes == That Queer Shake 
 
Eleven plus two == Twelve plus one 
 
Contradiction == Accord not in it 
 
This one’s amazing: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare] 
 
To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. 
 
Becomes:  In one of the Bard’s best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.
 
And the grand finale: “That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” — Neil A. Armstrong
 
becomes: A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“The Obamas invited 22 guests to the State of the Union address, including a former Cuban prisoner, an astronaut, and a doctor. Either that or he was setting up the weirdest bar joke of all time.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Doctors say that your attention span is like a muscle that can be strengthened. I didn’t read the rest of the article because I saw a shiny thing.” -Conan O’Brien

“Yesterday a baby was born on a New York-bound flight three hours before landing. Serious question: Would you rather ride next to a baby a whole flight, or have the first half of the flight no baby but then the actual birthing of a baby? Because again, that’s three hours of peace where there’s just no baby.” Seth Meyers

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

A bunch of cows and bulls are standing in a field. A huge gust of wind comes along and all the cows fall over, but the bulls just stand there, bracing themselves against the gale. So all the cows stand up and brush themselves off and go back to their business. Pretty soon, a tornado blows through and all of the cows are knocked to the ground, but the bulls just munch on the grass. Next, a hurricane comes through and all the cows are knocked into the next pasture. The bulls just say “moo.” Finally, one of the cows walks up to one of the bulls and says, “Moo? What’s the mooing deal? How come the wind always knocks us for a loop and you just stand there unharmed ?” “Isn’t it obvious?” the bull replies. “We bulls wobble, but we don’t fall down.”  

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “You can start by getting off my property and take that mud-duck with you.”

Answer: Crossroads! Motel owner Lloyd says this to Eugene “Lightning Boy” Martone (Ralph Macchio) when he finds him and Willie Brown (Joe Seneca) playing the blues for clapping onlookers in his parking lot. Guitar prodigy Eugene helps Willie escape an old-age home in exchange for teaching him a song written, but never recorded, by Willie’s old friend, the late blues legend Robert Johnson. Teenaged Eugene and cantankerous Brown hit the road headed to Mississippi where Willie has an old score to settle down at the crossroads — with the devil. 

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  “Not that mother-scratcher! Bill Parks!”

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

Take the given words, and by moving a single letter from one word to the other, make a pair of synonyms, or near synonyms. For example, given: Boast – Hip, move the ‘s’ from ‘Boast’ to ‘Hip’ creating two synonyms: Boat – Ship.

1. East – Up

2. West – Oak

3. Blog – Ranch

4. Over – Plaint

5. Outage – Ranger 

 ANSWER: 1. Eat – Sup  2. Wet – Soak  3. Log – Branch  4. Overt – Plain  5. Outrage – Anger

Tuesday’s  Quizzler is……….

You grasp my handle and give me a push.

I rotate and roll, doing my job.

You put pressure on me,

and I cause division.

Then you enjoy the fruits of my labor,

while I lie, cast aside, feeling cheesy and red of face.

 
 
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! 
NICE WORK BANKS! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji
 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

         

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