WELCOME to Friday, January 16, 2015.
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“Here in California today, they broke ground on the construction of a high-speed bullet train that will allow people to travel from L.A. to San Francisco in less than three hours. Until it’s built we’ll have to settle for flying there in 90 minutes.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“The FDA is warning New Yorkers about Chinese food after a major Brooklyn distributor was found with rats and birds nesting in boxes of ingredients. The distributor says it’s all a misunderstanding – those ARE the ingredients.” -Seth Meyers
“A guy had a job and it turned out he didn’t show up for 25 years. Finally, his boss discovered he wasn’t showing up and fired him. So let this be a lesson to you kids out there. If you don’t go to work for 25 years, you’re gonna get fired.” -Dave Letterman
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn’t start because it was out of gas. A passer-by told me there was a service station a half-mile away, so I took a gas can from the trunk and trudged the distance in the sweltering sun.
The attendant filled my two-gallon can, and I lugged it back and poured the gas into the tank. But when I tried to unlock the car door, it wouldn’t open. Just then, I noticed an identical old car parked a short distance away. That was my car; I had filled a stranger’s gas tank.
Wearily I walked back to the station. “You know,” the attendant suggested helpfully, “instead of walking back and forth to fill the tank from the can, you could put a couple of gallons in the tank and then drive the car here.”
Thursday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘I do not fear them.’
Answer: Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring! This is said by Arwen (Liv Tyler) to Aragorn.
Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘I think I’ll eat your heart.’
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Each pair of definitions is for two words, where the second word is the first word with a letter deleted (example: brand & band). The length of the first word in each pair is provided, along with the position of the deleted letter to obtain the second word.
1) a storage room (6 letters) & (delete 6th letter) near
2) to genuflect (5 letters) & (delete 2nd letter) to capsize
3) the teaching staff (7 letters) & (delete 3rd letter) having imperfections
4) the moment in which something occurs (4 letters) & (delete 3rd letter) to bind
ANSWER: 1) closet & close 2) kneel & keel 3) faculty & faulty 4) time & tie
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
A donkey behind another donkey
I’m behind that second donkey
But there is a whole nation behind me
It is a murder you can describe in a word.
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org.