Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏

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WELCOME to Friday, January 16, 2015.    

Here’s what I’ve learned in 55 years of living…..

 
1. HAIR…..
Hair is NOT loyal to anybody’s head, kinky, straight, wavy, black, blond, or blue,whatever the beginning population is when you started growing a full head of hair, it could stay or be totally be gone after you reach a certain age. There is no age definition, it could be age 19,  20, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60, or later.  Your hair will decide when it’s time to go. Now for some of us it will begin with what looks like the horse circling a campsite, imagine Custer’s last stand, you will see two great indentations on each side of your head. As you age those indentations will begin to move further back towards the middle of your head and then one day they will meet in the middle leaving you with an island on the top of your head.
 
Now some men prefer to cut off that little island leaving only the sides which make you look like you have ear muffs on each side of your head, and with a hat on, this will allow you to look like all of your hair is there neatly tucked away under the hat. Some men prefer to grow the sides long enough to whip across the top of your head giving the appearance of having a full head of hair. This works great until windy days, during which your time will be spent literately chasing your hair to put it back in place. Some men prefer the completely bald John Shaft or Telly Saliva look which allows them to grow some type of facial hair giving them a macho man look.
 
For others your natural (Naturally moving), hairline be start to back away from the front of your head, almost as if it’s afraid of your eyebrows, step by step or inch by inch!  One day the top of your head will have a full room of hair and the next day, everybody’s gone, leaving a few stragglers to hang out with you until the end.  Adding insult to injury, all of your colored hair will start turning white, yes white, it’s not racism, it’s the color leaving your hair follicles, and heading towards the land of no return.  
 
Now you can fight this battle with various products such a hair color for men and women, eyebrow color for men and women and finally beard and mustache color for men and woman. YES I said women, LADIES, you’ve got beards and mustaches too. Some women even trim their mustache with a fine lining! For those with thinning hair, there’s the spray paint can stuff that will give you the illusion of hair until you start to sweat and then people will start asking you why is your hair is running down the side of your head. Don’t forget there’s also the men’s hair loss solutions such as Bosley’s hair implants. I have no idea how that works at all.  
 
For men the loyal hair that never ever leaves is in the weirdest possible places such as your nose, ears, arms, under the arms, legs, chest and other places unspoken, now why can’t that hair start to fall out early?  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

QUOTES OF THE DAY

“Here in California today, they broke ground on the construction of a high-speed bullet train that will allow people to travel from L.A. to San Francisco in less than three hours. Until it’s built we’ll have to settle for flying there in 90 minutes.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“The FDA is warning New Yorkers about Chinese food after a major Brooklyn distributor was found with rats and birds nesting in boxes of ingredients. The distributor says it’s all a misunderstanding – those ARE the ingredients.” -Seth Meyers

“A guy had a job and it turned out he didn’t show up for 25 years. Finally, his boss discovered he wasn’t showing up and fired him. So let this be a lesson to you kids out there. If you don’t go to work for 25 years, you’re gonna get fired.” -Dave Letterman

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn’t start because it was out of gas. A passer-by told me there was a service station a half-mile away, so I took a gas can from the trunk and trudged the distance in the sweltering sun.

The attendant filled my two-gallon can, and I lugged it back and poured the gas into the tank. But when I tried to unlock the car door, it wouldn’t open. Just then, I noticed an identical old car parked a short distance away. That was my car; I had filled a stranger’s gas tank.

Wearily I walked back to the station. “You know,” the attendant suggested helpfully, “instead of walking back and forth to fill the tank from the can, you could put a couple of gallons in the tank and then drive the car here.”

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  ‘I do not fear them.’

Answer: Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring! This is said by Arwen (Liv Tyler) to Aragorn.

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘I think I’ll eat your heart.’

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Each pair of definitions is for two words, where the second word is the first word with a letter deleted (example: brand & band). The length of the first word in each pair is provided, along with the position of the deleted letter to obtain the second word.

1) a storage room (6 letters) & (delete 6th letter) near

2) to genuflect (5 letters) & (delete 2nd letter) to capsize

3) the teaching staff (7 letters) & (delete 3rd letter) having imperfections

4) the moment in which something occurs (4 letters) & (delete 3rd letter) to bind 

 

ANSWER: 1) closet & close  2) kneel & keel  3) faculty & faulty  4) time & tie 

Friday’s  Quizzler is……….

A donkey behind another donkey

I’m behind that second donkey

But there is a whole nation behind me

It is a murder you can describe in a word.

 

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

         

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