WELCOME to Tuesday, January 13, 2015.
Ollie Oyster and Sam Clam were best friends. They grew up together, went to school together, and even played in a rock band together. One day they had a horrible car accident, and both died.
Ollie had lived a good life, and went to heaven. Sam went to the other place.
Ollie wanted to play in a rock band again, just like before he died. But the only instrument allowed in heaven was the harp. He was a little sad about it, but learned to play the harp anyway, and became pretty good about it.
But Ollie Oyster missed his good friend Sam Clam. One day he asked God if he could visit Sam. God said “Well, we don’t normally do that kind of thing. But you were a very good oyster, so I can make a small exception. I’ll let you visit Sam for one day. But the catch is, you have to take your harp with you. They don’t have harps in hell, so when you want to get back into heaven just come to the front gate and play your harp, and we’ll know its you and let you in.”
Ollie was overjoyed, grabbed his harp, and went to visit his old friend.
Ollie found Sam, and they soon caught up on old times. Musical instruments of all kinds were allowed in hell, and Sam had formed a band, made a lot of money, and eventually opened his own disco. The two friends partied the night away in Sam’s disco, talking about old times, drinking heavily, and having a great time.
Finally, Ollie realized that time had gotten away from him, and he had only minutes to get back to heaven. He rushed out of the disco, leaving his harp behind.
He made it to the front gates of heaven, and pounded on the door. St Peter peeked out, and said “God told me you would be coming back, but I cant let you in until I hear you play your harp!”
Ollie cried “Oh No! I left my harp in Sam Clam’s disco!”
remember whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
QUOTES OF THE DAY
“According to a new report that just came out, the average college freshman reads at a seventh grade level. Or if you’re an optimist every seventh grader now reads at a college freshman level.” -Conan O’Brien
“This week hackers stole over $5 million in bitcoins from a Slovenia-based bitcoin exchange. If it’s not safe to keep your money in a Slovenian bitcoin exchange, where CAN you keep your money?” -Jimmy Fallon
“In Las Vegas, the Consumer Electronics Show is going on. It displays new technology that makes you already hate the TV you bought two weeks ago for Christmas.” -Jimmy Kimmel
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue.
Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove home.
Monday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ‘Pick up your wife before she breaks the other leg.’
Answer: Don’t Say a Word! The kidnapper says this to Michael Douglas about his wife who has broken her leg, when she hears their daughter has been kidnapped she nearly falls out of the bed and the kidnapper can see into their apartment and tells him this.
Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ‘I’ll believe in you all my life.’
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Heavenly body
Answer: The words are Start and Star.
1. Local region of land -> Determine the number
2. Small -> A metallic element
3. Sarcasm -> A metallic element
4. Red gem -> Cause friction
5. Slick -> Foot covering
6. Prepared -> Understand something written
7. Analyse; learn -> House frame upright
8. Paralysis of a body part with uncontrolled tremors -> Friends
ANSWER: 1. County -> Count 2. Tiny -> Tin 3. Irony -> Iron 4. Ruby -> Rub 5. Slippery -> Slipper
6. Ready -> Read 7. Study -> Stud 8. Palsy -> Pals
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
I still have 7 more things to put away and time is running out fast. Next I decide to put away the giant’s board games.
The colors of the board games are blue, brown, green, orange, purple, red, and yellow.
1. Purple is somewhere to the left of green.
2. Red is next to blue.
3. Brown is 3 away from blue (2 between).
4. Yellow is 2 away from red.
5. Blue is in the middle.
6. Orange is directly between yellow and purple.
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS, MS. ANDREA L. BANKS. GREAT SOLVING JOB BANKS!
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com. https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org.