Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

He-has-some-nice-legs-resizecrop--

WELCOME to Friday, January 9, 2015.  

Research mammals………
A research group was engaged in a study of longevity in mammals and had recently focused their attention on a particular species of porpoise, which they studied from their floating laboratory off the coast of Baja Mexico. They came to believe that, if fed just the right combination of nutrients, this particular porpoise could, in theory, live forever.
To put this to the test, they studied the world’s flora and fauna to see if any naturally occurring organism would fit the bill. They finally narrowed the selection down to an unusual species of mynah bird, and they sent a team of researchers off to gather a specimen.
It turns out that the mynah bird in question was quite rare, living only in a single tree in Kenya. The research team finally arrived at the tree to capture a bird, only to find that the tree was surrounded by a pride of very hungry lions, precluding any reasonable attempt to approach and climb the tree.
A suggestion was made that the lions might be manageable if they could be fed, and a couple of fat cape buffalo were captured and offered to the lions. The hungry lions devoured the hapless beasts and lay down upon the grass to digest their meal.
One of the researchers then gingerly tiptoed past the lions, climbed the tree, and had little difficulty capturing one of the mynah birds. He climbed back down the tree and walked past the lions to rejoin the group when a game warden appeared and arrested him for (what else)… “Transporting mynahs across sated lions for immortal porpoises.”Emoji
 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people, and   

remember whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

“Here’s the problem I have. You’ve got to start taking down your Christmas decorations. Whenever I take the tree down, I can’t re-tangle the lights the way they were.” -Dave Letterman

“General Mills has announced that they’re making a new flavor of Cheerios made from quinoa. And at the bottom there’s a special prize – Cheerios not made with quinoa.” -Conan O’Brien

“Joe Biden went to Brazil in an effort to try and repair America’s relationship with their government. Biden said, ‘It’s great to be here in the Amazon. I’ve always wanted to see where all the books come from.'” -Jimmy Fallon 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

My cousin, a perpetual bachelor, owned one of the biggest and fastest-growing businesses in Miami, a furniture store. I convinced him that he needed to take a trip to Italy to visit a manufacturer and check out the merchandise himself. And maybe he could meet an available young Italian women.

As he was checking into a hotel he struck up an acquaintance with a beautiful young lady. She only spoke Italian and he only spoke English–neither understood a word the other spoke. So he took out a pencil and a notebook and drew a picture of a taxi. She smiled, nodded her head and they went for a ride in the park. Later, he drew a picture of a table in a restaurant with a question mark and she nodded. So they went to dinner.

After dinner he sketched two dancers and she was delighted. They went to several nightclubs, drank champagne, danced and had a glorious evening. It had gotten quite late when she motioned for the pencil and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

He was dumbfounded. To this day he says that he’s never been able to understand how she knew he was in the furniture business. 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? ‘Why aren’t they in school?!, Why aren’t you in school?!’

Answer: Speed! Sandra Bullock says this in ‘Speed’ when a group of school kids are crossing the street and she can’t stop because the bus will blow up so she swerves to avoid hitting them and causes a big accident. 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???  ‘Well, you believe what you choose, and I’ll believe what I know.’

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Take the given words, and by moving a single letter from one word to the other, make a pair of synonyms, or near synonyms. For example, given: Boast – Hip, move the ‘s’ from ‘Boast’ to ‘Hip’ creating two synonyms: Boat – Ship.

1. Pain – Nil

2. War – Zoned

3. Routing – Tip

4. Shot – Teaming

5. Right – Blight 

 

ANSWER:  1. Pin – Nail  2. Ward – Zone  3. Outing – Trip  4. Hot – Steaming  5. Bright – Light

Friday’s  Quizzler is……….

What am I?

My first is in sound, but not in thunder.

My second is in noise, but not in poise.

My third is in outrage, but not in grater.

My fourth is in whimper, but not in whisper.

My fifth is in squash, but not in squelches.

My sixth is in mutter, but not in murmur.

My seventh is in gosh, but not in gasp.

My eighth is in yelp, but not in yell.

My ninth is in hoarse, but not in harsh.

My tenth is in eerie, but not in fairy.

My eleventh is in bliss, but not in bless.

My last is in splat, but not spilt.

 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! INCREDIBLE SOLVING JOB BANKS! EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. Emoji

         

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